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Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 3
If asked whether it is keeping a job or frequently switching jobs that gives more career fulfilment, many would struggle to make the final choice. Personally, choosing a job early and pursuing it in a long time would provide people with a great sense of career satisfaction while job-hopping cannot. It is inevitable that pursuing an early-chosen job in a long time can reap some benefits. Firstly, it implies that employees have already been familiar with the work environment as well as their colleagues and supervisors. Thus, they are less likely to be under intense pressure and to achieve work-life balance easily. Moreover, after years sharpening their skills, broadening their horizons, and having expertise in some particular fields through challenging tasks they underwent, it is unrealistic if they resign and find another job since they are likely to be assigned to important projects, gain high salary, and might keep high positions in the company. On the other hand, some issues are particularly worthy of concern when job-hoppers are craving for new jobs. The first is adjusting to a new environment, such as working with new colleagues and supervisors. They might need to spend more time working than usual, which can lead to the work-life imbalance. Secondly, when valuing job-hoppers’ resume, recruiters often tend to suspect his or her loyalty and resilience. Their chance, because of that, will be lowered and be hard to have chance to derive a fulfilment in their career. In conclusion, since frequently switching jobs usually ends with numerous challenges, I totally agree with the idea that staying with the same job and pursuing it will be more likely to bring better job fulfilment.
If asked whether it is keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
frequently
switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that gives more career
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the final choice.
Personally
, choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
early and pursuing it in a long time would provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a great sense of career satisfaction while job-hopping cannot.

It is inevitable that pursuing an early-chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a long time can reap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
, it implies that employees have already been familiar with the work environment
as well
as their colleagues and supervisors.
Thus
, they are less likely to be under intense pressure and to achieve work-life balance
easily
.
Moreover
, after years sharpening their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, broadening their horizons, and having expertise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular fields through challenging tasks they underwent, it is unrealistic if they resign and find another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
since they are likely to
be assigned
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
projects, gain high salary, and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
high positions in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues are
particularly
worthy of concern when job-hoppers are craving for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The
first
is adjusting to a new environment, such as working with new colleagues and supervisors. They might need to spend more time working than usual, which can lead to the work-life imbalance.
Secondly
, when valuing job-hoppers’ resume, recruiters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to suspect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
loyalty and resilience. Their chance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, will
be lowered
and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have chance to derive a
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
in their career.

In conclusion
, since
frequently
switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
usually
ends with numerous challenges, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that staying with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and pursuing it will be more likely to bring better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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