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Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 1
It is said that those who pursue and continue with a particular career choice early in life are more likely to experience greater fulfilment in regards to their work than those who tend to switch jobs more regularly. In my opinion, career satisfaction is not determined by when someone chooses a career path or for how long someone pursues it. This essay will outline some important factors believed to be involved. Choosing a career early in life and pursuing it for an extended period of time can have many great benefits. For example, starting a career early can provide someone with a better financial situation later in life, and hence greater satisfaction. In addition to this, remaining on a particular career path for a long period of time may allow someone to advance to the top of their chosen field through promotion, which may also possibly lead to greater career fulfilment. On the other hand, those who change jobs or career paths more regularly may also experience many benefits. For example, some people’s personalities are not suitable for staying in a particular job for long periods of time, and they may need to change career paths more regularly to stay satisfied. In addition to this, choosing a career path can be an overwhelming decision for young people without much real world experience, and therefore exploring a range of different career paths early on may lead them to eventually finding a career that will be more suitable for them in the long term. In conclusion, how one person gains satisfaction from their career may be different from another. Some may gain job satisfaction from how big their salary is, how far they have advanced within a particular company or field, or how much fame or praise they have earned. Others may be just as content or satisfied in knowing that their chosen career is beneficial towards serving the needs of others. Either way, I believe that choosing a career early in life and staying on this career path does not guarantee job satisfaction later in life.
It
is said
that those who pursue and continue with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are more likely to experience greater
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
their work than those who tend to switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
more
regularly
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is not determined by when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
chooses a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
or for how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
pursues it. This essay will outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors believed to
be involved
.

Choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and pursuing it for an extended period of time can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great benefits.
For example
, starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
with a better financial situation later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and
hence
greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
In addition
to this, remaining on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period of time may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
to advance to the top of their chosen field through promotion, which may
also
possibly
lead to greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.

On the other hand
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paths
more
regularly
may
also
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s personalities are not suitable for staying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
periods of time, and they may need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paths
more
regularly
to stay satisfied.
In addition
to this, choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
can be an overwhelming decision for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without much real world experience, and
therefore
exploring a range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
on may lead them to
eventually
finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that will be more suitable for them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
term.

In conclusion
, how one person gains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from another.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
from how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
their salary is, how far they have advanced within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or field, or how much fame or praise they have earned. Others may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as content or satisfied in knowing that their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is beneficial towards serving the needs of others. Either way, I believe that choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and staying on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
does not guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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