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Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1
The global environment has faced so many issues over the last decade due to mass industrialization. Owing to these problems, some people suppose that the most effective solution is decreasing the number of cars that are being used by raising the price of gasoline, which is the main power source of most vehicles at the moment. This essay will illustrate my agreement to this point of view. First and foremost, expensive fuel could potentially benefit the environment by indirectly reducing air pollution. In particular, setting a high price for gas would decrease the number of personal vehicles that are the main reasons for the dirty air in many metropolises. Moreover, and encourage people to use public transportations, which were designed by scientists to release less carbon. If less vehicles were operated on roads, less smoke would be emitted and it would result in a cleaner breathing air. Nevertheless, high fuel cost would encourage innovations in creating eco-friendly energies that would preserve the ecosystem in the future. Particularly, the demand for fuel for transportation in many industries is sizeable and if the gas price were unbearable, scientists would be required to find a way to harness new power sources such as atomic reaction. Resultantly, the new energy that doesn't rely on fossil fuels would be invented and play a major role in industrializing as well as protecting the earth in a long term. In conclusion, owing to many problems with our environment, some people suggest governments to increase the cost of fuel in order to refrain people from driving their personal vehicles. This essay has shown my agreement to this idea by providing two visible benefits, which are reducing air pollution and preserving the global surroundings in the future. .
The global environment has faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues over the last decade due to mass industrialization. Owing to these problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose that the most effective solution is decreasing the number of cars that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by raising the price of gasoline, which is the main power source of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
at the moment. This essay will illustrate my agreement to this point of view.

First
and foremost, expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
could
potentially
benefit the environment by
indirectly
reducing air pollution.
In particular
, setting a high price for gas would decrease the number of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that are the main reasons for the dirty air in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolises.
Moreover
, and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportations, which
were designed
by scientists to release less carbon. If
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun vehicles is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
were operated
on roads, less smoke would
be emitted
and it would result in a cleaner breathing air.

Nevertheless
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
cost would encourage innovations in creating eco-friendly energies that would preserve the ecosystem in the future.
Particularly
, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
for transportation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries is sizeable and if the gas price were unbearable, scientists would
be required
to find a way to harness new power sources such as atomic reaction.
Resultantly
, the new energy that doesn't rely on fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
would
be invented
and play a major role in industrializing
as well
as protecting the earth in a long term.

In conclusion
, owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems with our environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to increase the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
in order to refrain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from driving their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. This essay has shown my agreement to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
by providing two visible benefits, which are reducing air pollution and preserving the global surroundings in the future.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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