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Some people think that old people need to live in special communities but others believe they should live with their family and adult children Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.4

Some people think that old people need to live in special communities but others believe they should live with their family and adult children 4
There is a controversial debate regarding where elderly people should live: in special community places or in a home with their family. This essay believes that it is in the best of interest of a family if old people live with their children and the reasons behind both perspectives will be discussed in this essay. There is a substantial upside if elderly people live in special places, where elaborately designed to fulfill their needs. As people get older, they will encounter different illnesses, such as cancer, or heart conditions, which are needed special attention on a daily basis or in the case of emergency. In most community places these days, experienced nurses and advanced medical facilities are available to service residents, which make living there more convenient than a residential apartment. Furthermore, with rising expenses of living in cities and increasing rents, families are forced to live in small apartments, leaving less space for grandparents to live with their adult children. However, we could not deny the benefit of living with family for old people. With dual-income families become more common in modern society, grandparents would become handy by being at home during the day, taking care of children, and helping in house chores. In this case, parents do not force to hire a nanny for their long working hours or register their children for extracurricular activities to fulfill the after-hours gap. In the term of emotional supports, both family and elderly would benefit by living in a close proxy to each other. For instance, researches recently point the significant improvement in the psychological well-being of senior citizens who move from community places to their families. It is worth to notice that adults and children would also satisfy emotionally markedly by having their loved ones at home. In conclusion, although recently community places become more convenient to live for the elderly, this essay believes that, despite the challenges, advantages of living with family outweigh its drawbacks.
There is a controversial debate regarding where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
: in special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or in a home with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This essay believes that it is in the best of interest of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the reasons behind both perspectives will
be discussed
in this essay.

There is a substantial upside if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, where
elaborately
designed to fulfill their needs. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they will encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
illnesses, such as cancer, or heart conditions, which
are needed
special attention on a daily basis or in the case of emergency. In most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
these days, experienced nurses and advanced medical facilities are available to service residents, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there more convenient than a residential apartment.
Furthermore
, with rising expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in cities and increasing rents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
apartments, leaving less space for grandparents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their adult children.

However
, we could not deny the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. With dual-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
become more common in modern society, grandparents would become handy by being at home during the day, taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and helping in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores.
In this case
, parents do not force to hire a nanny for their long working hours or register their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for extracurricular activities to fulfill the after-hours gap. In the term of emotional supports, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
would benefit by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a close proxy to each other.
For instance
, researches recently point the significant improvement in the psychological well-being of senior citizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. It is worth to notice that adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
also
satisfy
emotionally
markedly
by having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones at home.

In conclusion
, although recently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
become more convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, this essay believes that, despite the challenges, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
outweigh its drawbacks.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that old people need to live in special communities but others believe they should live with their family and adult children 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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