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Some People think that nowadays we have too many choices. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some People think that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 1
It is considered that in this day and age, as people, we have too many options available for everything. In my opinion, I agree that we have a long list to make our selection from. This essay discusses about the endless choices we have, right from our basic necessities to the luxurious needs. Food is one the primary needs of human beings, however we have too many options available for this basic necessity as well. The wide variety is available for people of all age groups, including toddlers. In olden days, baby food was simply made at home from the ingredients available in the kitchen. While, today we have departmental stores full of baby food. There are hundreds of restaurants within the same city with countless cuisines on the one single menu. This situation is a consequence of globalization. To illustrate, Chinese people have migrated to all the corners of the people, resulting in availability of chinese cuisine anywhere and everywhere. Hence, we have too many choices for our basic needs. Moreover, gold and diamonds are ought to be the most expensive needs of the hour. Still, we have numerous variety to choose from. These are available in different forms, like exclusive jewelry, wrist watches, pens and so on, which are made up of gold and diamonds. In addition, currently any part of the world is easily reachable. Therefore, people have numberless holiday destinations to choose from, which at times results in stress. For instance, a family of five adults wish to indulge themselves in an exotic vacation, however each family member desires for a different destination due to infinite travel destinations. Consequently, resulting in conflicts between the family member. From the above illustrations, it is certainly clear, that recently we have too many choices. In conclusion, I concur that we have a plethora of choices in today’s world, and I am certainly sure that, that the availability of options will keep on increasing in the near future.
It
is considered
that in this day and age, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
for everything. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we have a long list to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our selection from. This essay
Did you mean simply "discusses the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discusses about the
endless choices we have, right from our
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
to the luxurious needs.

Food is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the primary needs of human beings,
however
we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
for this basic necessity
as well
. The wide variety is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all age groups, including toddlers. In olden days, baby food was
simply
made at home from the ingredients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
in the kitchen.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we have departmental stores full of baby food. There are hundreds of restaurants within the same city with countless cuisines on the one single menu. This situation is a consequence of globalization. To illustrate, Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have migrated to all the corners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, resulting in availability of
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
cuisine anywhere and everywhere.
Hence
, we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for our basic needs.

Moreover
, gold and diamonds are ought to be the most expensive needs of the hour.
Still
, we have numerous variety to choose from. These are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms, like exclusive jewelry, wrist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
, pens and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which
are made
up of gold and diamonds.
In addition
,
currently
any part of the world is
easily
reachable.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have numberless holiday destinations to choose from, which at times results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, a family of five adults wish to indulge themselves in an exotic vacation,
however
each family member desires for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
destination due to infinite travel destinations.
Consequently
, resulting in conflicts between the family member. From the above illustrations, it is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that recently we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices.

In conclusion
, I concur that we have a plethora of choices in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, and I am
certainly
sure that, that the availability of options will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on increasing in the near future.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some People think that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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