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Some people think that not all criminals should be kept in prison. Some criminals should do unpaid work to help other people in the community. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people think that not all criminals should be kept in prison. Some criminals should do unpaid work to help other people in the community. v. 1
Some would argue that not every offender should be kept behind bars, and they should allow to engage with some voluntary work to help fellow people in the society. This essay completely agrees with this because criminals are a possible threat to other people in the community, and prison provides appropriate rehabilitation for prisoners during their term. Allowing perpetrators to do unpaid community works could be dangerous to the general public. By the name of unpaid work offenders would have a chance to freely roam around the street, and they would not hesitate to harm others for own benefits. Therefore, criminals should be kept in detention rather than giving a chance to work in the society. For example, a recent survey conducted by some renowned psychologists in the UK proved that lawbreakers have a tendency to recommit an offence at any time because they had been exposed to such situations and the chances are 52% higher than others. During the period of prison sentences, the perpetrators receive proper guidance and rehabilitation services in order to reintegrate into the society. That is to say, many prisons provide psychological as well as social rehabilitation practices inside the jail, while this would lack when they work for the society. Hence, this allows people to achieve proper employment upon release and this would deter them from recommitting the offences. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the BBC revealed that proper rehabilitation practices during the terms in prison showed a 34% decrease among criminals to do the similar crime once they released. In conclusion, all criminals should be kept in captivity and not allowed to work in the society because they could cause potential dangers to the public and prison teaches various real-life skills so that they can successfully inhabited in the community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that not every offender should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
behind bars, and they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "engaging"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to engage
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fellow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are a possible threat to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
provides appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
for prisoners during their term.

Allowing perpetrators to do unpaid community works could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
. By the name of unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
offenders would have a chance to
freely
roam around the street, and they would not hesitate to harm others for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in detention
rather
than giving a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
renowned psychologists in the UK proved that lawbreakers have a tendency to recommit an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
at any time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had
been exposed
to such situations and the chances are 52% higher than others.

During the period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences, the perpetrators receive proper guidance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
services in order to reintegrate into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
That is
to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
provide psychological
as well
as social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
practices inside the jail, while this would lack when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to achieve proper employment upon release and this would deter them from recommitting the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the BBC revealed that proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
practices during the terms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a 34% decrease among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to do the similar crime once they released.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in captivity and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could cause potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to the public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
teaches various real-life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
successfully
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "inhabit"
inhabited
in the community.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people think that not all criminals should be kept in prison. Some criminals should do unpaid work to help other people in the community. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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