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Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. v. 3
It is thought by some that not every criminal should be sentenced to imprisonment for his wrong deeds but to work for the progress of the society at free of cost. I completely agree with the option of involving the guilty in constructive works as it will benefit not only the society but also for saving the State' s valuable money. A good reason to opt this approach is that not every culprit is destructive in his ways. By this I mean, majority of wrong-doers are not serious criminals, many of them are found guilty of small offences such as shoplifting, pickpocketing, law-breaking etcetera. For instance, in UK every year there are approximately 2000 cases of major and minor crimes. Moreover It is not possible to put every culprit, even for a very small crime behind the bars and obviously, it will not be feasible to place serious criminals such as murderers, drug users, robbers, rapists along with shoplifters and thieves in the same cell as Small offenders may get intimation and guidelines to commit more serious crimes. Thus the best way to use energy of such offenders in a constructive way is to get them involved in unpaid community work. Another point to consider is that, preferring the prisoners for social work will ultimately help the nation to save financial resources. In other words, every government needs to hire a large proportion of workers for the development and advancement of society such as construction of roads, hospitals, building dams and maintaining drainage system etcetera. So indulging the guilty into this sort of work will eventually lead to benefit the society by saving huge amount of finance. Doing this means, the significant financial resources of the nation can be better used for other important areas such as healthcare system and education system etcetera. Thus it is vital that state government passes a verdict referring to the involvement of selected sinners in the betterment of community and off course, free of cost. In conclusion, minor offenders ought to be included in advancement works to raise the society and the state as it is the best practice to utilise human resources behind the bars. On top of it, their energy can be used in a positive way to save State' s valuable financial resources.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that not every criminal should
be sentenced
to imprisonment for his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
deeds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
at free of cost. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the option of involving the guilty in constructive works as it will benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for saving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
State&
#039; s valuable money.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to opt this approach is that not every culprit is destructive in his ways. By this I mean,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doers are not serious criminals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
are found
guilty of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
such as shoplifting,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
, law-breaking etcetera.
For instance
, in UK every year there are approximately 2000 cases of major and minor crimes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
It is not possible to put every culprit, even for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
crime behind the bars and
obviously
, it will not be feasible to place serious criminals such as murderers, drug users, robbers, rapists along with shoplifters and thieves in the same cell as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
offenders may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
intimation and guidelines to commit more serious crimes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
energy of such offenders
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them involved in unpaid community work.

Another point to consider is that, preferring the prisoners for social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the nation to save financial resources.
In other words
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to hire a large proportion of workers for the development and advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as construction of roads, hospitals, building dams and maintaining drainage system etcetera.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
indulging the guilty into this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
eventually
lead to benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by saving huge amount of finance. Doing this means, the significant financial resources of the nation can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
areas such as healthcare system and education system etcetera.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is vital that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
passes a verdict referring to the involvement of selected sinners in the betterment of community and off course, free of cost.

In conclusion
, minor offenders ought to
be included
in advancement works to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
as it is the best practice to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
human resources behind the bars. On top of it, their energy can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way to save
Possible spelling mistake found.
State&
#039; s valuable financial resources.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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