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Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community v. 1
Not every criminal is the same. Every criminal is not a professional criminal or has the intention to do the wrong. At times, it is because of the situation that they have to commit a felony. As we all know that beating anybody is a misdemeanour and beating a woman is a super offence, a person was seen slapping a girl in the video. But the footage was quite long about a minute or two where the woman was seen harassing the guy, slapping him before his actions. She was drunk. So aforementioned was not his fault or intentions to slap her, but it was the situation where he was left with no option Now if that would not have been recorded and the women would have filed a case, the guy has the chances of being declared as the criminal. Not every criminal is a criminal. I mean that the person has not even committed the crime, but because of some false pieces of evidence. Since he is not at fault, so keeping him in prison will pollute his mind as he is surrounded by some actual criminals who are always up intending to commit the violation. He may become a criminal because of the wrong decision taken for him to keep him in prison. Keeping them in prisons makes them socially unfit and they find hard to fit into society. Their personal development is hindered. They are not aware of the current affairs. In other word, keeping them in prison increases their chance of becoming real criminals.
Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is the same. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is not a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
or has the intention to do the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. At times, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the situation that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commit a felony. As we all know that beating anybody is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanour
and beating a woman is a super
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
, a person was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
slapping a girl in the video.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the footage was quite long about a minute or two where the woman was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
harassing the guy, slapping him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
his actions. She
was drunk
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
aforementioned was not his fault or intentions to slap her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was the situation where he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if that would not have
been recorded
and the women would have filed a case, the guy has the chances of
being declared
as the criminal.

Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
. I mean that the person has not even committed the crime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
false pieces of evidence. Since he is not at fault,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
keeping him in prison will pollute his mind as he
is surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who are always up intending to commit the violation. He may become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision taken for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
him in prison.

Keeping them in prisons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
socially
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unfit and
they find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fit into society. Their personal development
is hindered
. They are not aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs. In other word, keeping them in prison increases their chance of becoming real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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