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Some people think that newsapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that newsapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. v. 1
In this contemporary world, due to the advancement in technology, the world has become a smaller place. The half population thinks that newspapers are the greatest source for them to receive information. While, others believe that the internet is superior than other sources of information. I would like to put shine on both the sides and provide evidence why newspaper has its benefits, but why online services are a more effective way. To begin with, there are several benefits of reading newspapers. First and foremost, by daily reading, it helps in increasing reading skills as it contains high standard of language. In addition, vocabulary and grammar also improves by reading. Consequently, an individual who reads newspaper daily are able to understand the language quickly and speak fluently. Moreover, reading newspapers is the way of spending free time in an effective use. Additionally, an individual can read them at any time. For instance, many people use newspapers to kill time with gaining knowledge instead of spending on the phone which affect their eyes and brain. On the flip side, there are opposing voices saying that news is presented better on television or the web. Firstly, the web is providing material for learning online. Because of this, everyone gets a chance to learn about anything at free of cost. For example, latest studies prove that in the last 6 years, the percentage of students who study by using this facility increasing rapidly. Last but not least, this source of news provides information all around the world. In addition, if helps in raising awareness among the people on critical things globally. For example, with the help of internet, every nation is aware of corona virus which is the most harmful disease. To encapsulate the whole notion, I gather that the web authority of news is a more useful source as it has more merits than others. The newspaper is good way increasing language skills. However, online facilities provide news quickly to all.
In this contemporary world, due to the advancement in technology, the world has become a smaller place. The half population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
for them to receive information.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others believe that the internet is
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of information. I would like to put shine on both the sides and provide evidence why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has its benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why online services are a more effective way.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
First
and foremost, by daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as it contains high standard of language.
In addition
, vocabulary and grammar
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
Consequently
, an individual who reads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
daily are able to understand the language
quickly
and speak
fluently
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is the way of spending free time in an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Additionally
, an individual can read them at any time.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
to kill time with gaining knowledge
instead
of spending on the phone which affect their eyes and brain.

On the flip side, there are opposing voices saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is presented
better on television or the web.
Firstly
, the web is providing material for learning online.
Because of this
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to learn about anything at free of cost.
For example
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
studies prove that in the last 6 years, the percentage of students who study by using this facility increasing
rapidly
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
provides information all around the world.
In addition
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in raising awareness among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on critical things globally.
For example
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet, every nation is aware of
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
which is the most harmful disease.

To encapsulate the whole notion, I gather that the web authority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is a more useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
as it has more merits than others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way increasing language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, online facilities provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
quickly
to all.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that newsapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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