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Some people think that music has an important role in society while others believe that it is only a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that music has an important role in society while others believe that it is only a form of entertainment. v. 1
The deliberation of art's importance is one which many people feel strongly about. Some argue that it is paramount for authority, while many individuals advocate that the melody may be immensely pivotal to rest. This essay will explore both these positions in turn. Although listening rap being kind of fun seems sensible it does not necessarily mean that effects or benefits of the tune are restricted. Because craft would be the main factor to avoid eliminating traditions which belong to exact nations. Many folk and acclaim musics of countries may be vivid example, due to they have patriot and traditional spirit, which are considered really beneficial things to be acquainted with the history. As a result, youngsters can inspire to preserve their ancient rituals, habits and conventions which are the crucial basis of government. On the other hand, in fact, there are some figures who assert soul is expression of entertainment. Since rap can easily lift up the person's spirit when they feel a sense of boredom. As proof many workers or students opt to listen to opera after a hard day. Obviously profession may stock up the positive energy and also can fight against stress. As the consequence people's productivities might boost at their work. In my opinion a huge range of people may listen soul to have a rest in order to flight out tiredness from their bodies. All things considered, despite craft is accepted essential to authority, entertain side of singing often acclaim in a globalized world.
The deliberation of art's importance is one which
many
people
feel
strongly
about.
Some
argue that it is paramount for authority, while
many
individuals advocate that the melody may be
immensely
pivotal to rest. This essay will explore both these positions in turn.

Although listening rap being kind of fun seems sensible it does not
necessarily
mean that effects or benefits of the tune
are restricted
.
Because
craft would be the main factor to avoid eliminating traditions which belong to exact nations.
Many
folk and acclaim musics of countries may be vivid example, due to they have patriot and traditional spirit, which
are considered
really
beneficial things to
be acquainted
with the history.
As a result
, youngsters can inspire to preserve their ancient rituals, habits and conventions which are the crucial basis of
government
.

On the other hand
, in fact, there are
some
figures who assert soul is expression of entertainment. Since rap can
easily
lift up
the person's spirit when they feel a sense of boredom. As proof
many
workers or students opt to listen to opera after a
hard
day.
Obviously
profession may stock up the
positive
energy and
also
can fight against
stress
.
As
the consequence
people
's
productivities
might boost at their work. In my opinion a huge range of
people
may listen soul to have a rest in order to flight out tiredness from their bodies.

All things considered, despite craft is
accepted
essential to authority, entertain side of singing
often
acclaim in a globalized world.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that music has an important role in society while others believe that it is only a form of entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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