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Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 1
Some authorities think that musical beats create happy moment to every listener. It is often argued that a finest piece of music is beneficial to people and larger society only while others disagree and believe that it has negative impact to both. This essay will agrees that every content of music is enough to explore the real situation of society and create a peace state of mind. The essay will discuss both points of view. It is clear that someone listening music in everyday life can boost up the personal wellbeing by reducing stressful situation related to daily work life. It allows them to have in a peaceful situation by listening romantic and classical music which have beautiful musical beat and stories. It is therefore agreed that music is a worthwhile tools for continuing individual happiness and social history for long run. For instance, this is most evident in my country that listening folk music is quite popular among the youth to minimize the stressful situation that they encounter in their daily life. Despite these positive concern some peoples still believed that it impairs people from the face to face discussion. Such individual confrontation is more important to develop the interpersonal relationship by shorting out the confusion if they have and it seems more convenient way to finding out more relevant information regarding the historical concern to make their society even more independent. Despite these eradication of the confusing state of mind is still possible through listening various content of music with excellent beats. For example, the Himalayan Times in March 2019 reported that musical therapy is quite popular in the field of psychiatric social work in Nepal where they employed this exercise to those who have bad interpersonal relationship. In conclusion, the fact that listening music is more beneficial to every individual for maximizing personal happiness, however, some people still believed that it impairs individual from live interaction. As long as we are very clear to keep in mind that the importance of listening music the outcomes are entirely positive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that musical beats create happy moment to every listener. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
finest piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and larger society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
while others disagree and believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to both. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "agree"
agrees
that every content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to explore the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of society and create a peace state of mind. The essay will discuss both points of view.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that someone
With the word 'that' in a subjunctive clause, use the base form of a verb: "listen".
listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in everyday life can boost up the personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
by reducing stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
related to daily work life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to have in a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
by listening romantic and classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
musical beat and stories.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a worthwhile
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "tool"?
tools
for continuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
happiness and social history for long run.
For instance
, this is most evident in my country that listening folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is quite popular among the youth to minimize the stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
that they encounter in their daily life.

Despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
still
believed that it impairs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the face to face discussion. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
confrontation is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop the interpersonal relationship by shorting out the confusion if they have and it seems more convenient way to finding out more relevant information regarding the historical concern to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their society even more independent. Despite
Did you mean "this eradication" or "these eradications"?
these eradication
of the confusing state of mind is
still
possible through listening various content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with excellent beats.
For example
, the Himalayan Times in March 2019 reported that musical therapy is quite popular in the field of psychiatric social work in Nepal where they employed this exercise to those who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
interpersonal relationship.

In conclusion
, the fact that listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more beneficial to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
for maximizing personal happiness,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
believed that it impairs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
interaction.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
long as we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that the importance of listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
the outcomes are
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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