Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.17

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 17
A majority of people think that wealthier people have more options to help other needy people around the world. This essay agrees that, rich people should help the vulnerable households through multiple career developmental activities. The essay will first discuss the fact that rich people can contribute to eradicate the problem of poverty and also create the employment opportunity to secure the financial status of family. It is clear that, rich people can donate their huge economy to the ultra-poor household regarding minimizing the worse form of poverty level from the world. Moreover, the significant contribution to the vulnerable people would be in the form of cash and the goods regarding uplifting their standard of living. As a result of that, vulnerable households can fulfill their basic needs of their families and move ahead towards the further prosperity. For example, “The Himalayan Times” recently reported that, 40% of world poverty level out of 100% have decreased just because of the cumulative donation of economic by world richest people to the marginalized households. On the other hand, with a sound economy rich people can create income generating activity to strengthen family income in long run is the one and helps to boost up individual knowledge and skills internationally on the other hand. Moreover, huge proportion of semi skills and unskilled individual get opportunity to work in the professional field which helps them to secure their professional career in future with more comprehensive manner. As a consequent of that, economic level of family will be secured and ultimately helps to improve national gross domestic price in a long run. For instance, Chaudari Group is the primary example because he has provided multiple work opportunities to the unskilled and semi skills person in various micro industries project within the Nepal. In conclusion, donation of certain amount by the rich people to the poor household helps to improve healthy family life through fulfilling multiple family needs and also would help to improve work opportunities to secure family income. Lastly, I personally believe that, it is always good to share few amount of economy by wealthy person to improve the living standard of vulnerable households.
A majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more options to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
other needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
through multiple career developmental activities. The essay will
first
discuss the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contribute to eradicate the problem of poverty and
also
create the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to secure the financial status of family.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can donate their huge economy to the ultra-poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
regarding minimizing the worse form of poverty level from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Moreover
, the significant contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be in the form of cash and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
regarding uplifting their standard of living.
As a result
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
can fulfill their basic needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead towards the
further
prosperity.
For example
, “The Himalayan Times” recently reported that, 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
poverty level out of 100% have decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cumulative donation of economic by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the marginalized households.

On the other hand
, with a sound economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create income generating activity to strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
income in long run is the one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to boost up individual knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
internationally
on the other hand
.
Moreover
, huge proportion of semi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and unskilled individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to work in the professional field which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to secure their professional career in future with more comprehensive manner. As a consequent of that, economic level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
be secured
and
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
national gross domestic price in a long run.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chaudari
Group is the primary example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has provided multiple work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the unskilled and semi
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
person in various micro industries project within the Nepal.

In conclusion
, donation of certain amount by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life through fulfilling multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
needs and
also
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
income.
Lastly
, I
personally
believe that, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to share
Possible agreement error. The noun amount seems to be countable; consider using: "few amounts".
few amount
of economy by wealthy person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts