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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measure will be needed. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.6

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measure will be needed. v. 6
It is certainly true that, committing offensive behavior by individual is increasing in every year. It is often argued that, hanging to the people those who found guilty in a criminal activities is the positive development whilst, other disagree that there are multiples other options can be used to correct the individual behavior. This essay agrees that imprisonment till the death is the best way to spread fear among the offensive behavior of individuals. This essay discuss both point of view. With regards to the positive concern, serious offensive characters of individual should be denied and more strict penalty like hanging them until the death should be provided to control the criminal activity of individuals. Moreover, serious punishment demotivate each of the people who ever think of committing general offensive activities in their daily life. It is therefore agreed that, the nature of penalty to every serous offensive behavior helps to maintain the peace and harmony within the society. For example, this is most evident in China that, the government of china has develop and implied the law of death penalty to those who are proved guilty in any kind of offensive behavior. However, many disagree and feels that, implying flexible law and sending convectors to the correctional home, teaching them with the essence of society can also help to modify the individual behavior in positive one. Sometime they even do not know the consequence of crime, unknowingly they have engaged with such type of activity through pear pressure and justice should be provided to the innocent who are unwillingly engaged in the offensive behavior. Despite this, crucial punishment by the law is still best way to reduce the criminal activity from society and this essay disagrees on multiple correctional opportunity to change the behavior of criminal. For instance, a recent study of 2018 conducted by the government of Nepal found that, social security within the nation has established just because of strict rules against the serious types of offensive behavior. In conclusion, while death penalty to the criminal activity spread the anxiety to the every offensive character and helps to create more peace and harmony within the society, some still feel that justice should be provided to every criminal with more optional activities. However, I personally think that rigorous punishment should be given to every criminal and make society free from any kind of fear.
It is
certainly
true that, committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is increasing in every year. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that, hanging to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
found guilty in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development whilst, other disagree that there are multiples other options can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to correct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that imprisonment till the death is the best way to spread fear among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay discuss
both point of view.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
concern, serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
characters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should
be denied
and more strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
like hanging them until the death should
be provided
to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Moreover
, serious punishment demotivate each of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of committing general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their daily life. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that, the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to every serous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain the peace and harmony within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, this is most evident in China that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
has
Use past participle here: "developed".
develop
and implied the law of death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are proved
guilty in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
behavior.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disagree and feels that, implying flexible law and sending convectors to the correctional home, teaching them with the essence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to modify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one. Sometime they even do not know the consequence of crime,
unknowingly
they have engaged with such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
through pear pressure and justice should
be provided
to the innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
unwillingly
engaged in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. Despite this, crucial punishment by the law is
A determiner is probably missing here: "still the best".
still best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and this essay disagrees on multiple correctional opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
For instance
, a recent study of 2018 conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Nepal found that, social security within the nation has established
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
against the serious types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
behavior.

In conclusion
, while death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
spread the anxiety to the every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offensive
character and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create more peace and harmony within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that justice should
be provided
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
with more optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that rigorous punishment should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
free from any kind of fear.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measure will be needed. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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