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“Prevention is better than cure” researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extent do you agree? v.2

“Prevention is better than cure” researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. v. 2
It is generally argued among the most of the people that, treating up on the disease is more expensive and people therefore focused on health percussion. This essay agrees that, people should be conscious on preventive measure than the treatment. Firstly, this essay discuss the fact that, following on the regular exercise and hygienic food habit play the significant role to make their body fit and secondly, discuss on timely health checkup for avoiding high cost during serious treatment. With regards to the positive concern, people should follow the hygienic food habit and regular exercise make their body on more healthy status. Moreover, it allow individual to avoid obesity and fulfill the required calories as per the need of their body. On top up that, keep following on good schedule help person to develop their immunity system more strongly along with tighter the muscles for better health prospective. For example, this is most evident in my country that, youth nowadays are healthier than old people just because of their regular effort on yoga, gym and avoiding junk food as well. On the other hand, getting health updates from the authorized health center on timely basis also helps people to avoid serious health problem. It allows people to know if any disorder or disbalanced occurrence or possibility of being inflected from any kind of diseases. As a result of that, they can get advice from the medical doctors immediately and avoid to happen of any kind of serious health issue. For instance, a recent study of 2019, conducted by “Ministry of Health, Nepal” found that treatment level of major diseases like heart, cancer rate were decreased by 70 % in comparison to 2016 report. In conclusion, keep focusing on the health habit related to regular workout and timely health checkup allows people to pay more attention in regards to maintain their body out of any kind of costly disease. I personally think that, it is always good to be live healthier life than running out to the hospitals frequently for expensive health care.
It is
generally
argued among the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that, treating up on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is more expensive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
therefore
focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
percussion. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be conscious on preventive measure than the treatment.
Firstly
,
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "this essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this essay discuss
the fact that, following on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
exercise and hygienic food habit play the significant role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit and
secondly
, discuss on timely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
checkup for avoiding high cost during serious treatment.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
concern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow the hygienic food habit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
on more healthy status.
Moreover
, it
Did you mean "allows"?
allow
individual to avoid obesity and fulfill the required calories as per the need of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. On top up that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
following on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schedule
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
person to develop their immunity system more
strongly
along with tighter the muscles for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
prospective.
For example
, this is most evident in my country that, youth nowadays are healthier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
effort on yoga, gym and avoiding junk food
as well
.

On the other hand
, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
updates from the authorized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
center on timely basis
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know if any disorder or
Possible spelling mistake found.
disbalanced
occurrence or possibility of
being inflected
from any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
As a result
of that, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice from the medical doctors immediately and
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid happening".
avoid to happen
of any kind of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue.
For instance
, a recent study of 2019, conducted by “Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
, Nepal” found that treatment level of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like heart, cancer rate
were decreased
by 70 %
in comparison
to 2016 report.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
habit related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
workout and timely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
checkup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay more attention
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
out of any kind of costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthier life than running out to the hospitals
frequently
for expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay “Prevention is better than cure” researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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