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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 2
Nowadays music can be heard in every city all over the globe. Moreover, each nation has its style and musical instruments. Many people believe that music is always good for society and a person in particular. However, some people have an opinion that music can bring harm to people. I strongly believe that everything, and music, in particular, can bring chaos in our lives in case of inappropriate use. According to recent researches, most people enjoy music a lot. In general, music has been used for entertainment, but now it becomes a part of the treatment for people with mental illnesses. For example, patients that suffer from hysteria can feel much better when they are listening to classic music. Another example of the positive impact of music we can see in metro stations. In places like this, we can hear easy-going songs that are good at decreasing the level of stress. On the other hand, too loud music can invoke stress and aggression that can lead to conflicts and irritation. Additionally, some songs have aggressive and intolerant meanings and are tending to insult a particular person or even a group of people. For example, a lot of rappers were warned or even charged a penalty by the court for abusing people. Another well-known problem caused by music is the lack of sleep. In most cases, it happens because of neighbours who have a party quite frequently. In conclusion, music has a place in the heart of any man or women and we are listening to it almost every day. Even though music can bring a lot of joy in our lives, it also can produce a negative effect on our lives. In other words, if people will be able to use music wisely, it would cause profit to every member of society.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
be heard
in every city all over the globe.
Moreover
, each nation has its style and musical instruments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society and a person
in particular
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
strongly
believe that everything, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
in particular
, can bring chaos in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in case of inappropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

According to recent researches, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
a lot.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it becomes a part of the treatment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with mental illnesses.
For example
, patients that suffer from hysteria can feel much better when they are listening to classic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Another example of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in metro stations. In places like this, we can hear easy-going songs that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at decreasing the level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

On the other hand
, too loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can invoke
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and aggression that can lead to conflicts and irritation.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs have aggressive and intolerant meanings and are tending to insult a particular person or even a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rappers
were warned
or even charged a penalty by the court for abusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another well-known problem caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the lack of sleep.
In most cases
, it happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
who have a party quite
frequently
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a place in the heart of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
women and
we are listening to it almost every day.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
joy in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it
also
can produce a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
wisely
, it would cause profit to every member of society.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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