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Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the works of their own countries instead of the work of art from other parts of the world. To what extent​ do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the works of their own countries instead of the work of art from other parts of the world. v. 2
Museums and art galleries are a place to exhibit collections and achievements from the past, allowing us to take pride of the civilization we have built, the talent we possess and inspire us. Imposing regional boundaries on it, will not only subdue the value, but also make us naive about the understanding of the rest of the world. We have many regional talents and they all deserve to be showcased and presented among their own people first, but that does not mean that we should shift our focus completely on the works of our countries. A recent study had shown that museums and art galleries have had a great hand in achieving modernization, owing to the display of talents all over the world, people got to know what people have already achieved and even learn from them. We can definitely give preference to the talent we have in our country first by reserving some sections only for the local talents. Also keeping the collection global enables us to have a wide array of options and thus encouraging the people to come in every week and looking for the new things people have achieved all over the world, isn't that the sole reason we have museums and art galleries in the first place? . Plus more people coming in, means more support through tickets and tourism. For instance the Madam Tussats Wax Museum is so renowned for its worldwide collection of wax statues, people from each continent have it in their bucket list. In conclusion, I would like to say, we should nurture what we have but also make ourselves aware of what other have, so that we can learn from it and eventually grow together and build a world as a better place.
Museums
and art galleries are a place to exhibit collections and achievements from the past, allowing us to take pride of the civilization we have built, the
talent
we possess and inspire us. Imposing regional boundaries on it, will not
only
subdue the value,
but
also
make
us naive about the understanding of the rest of the world.

We have
many
regional
talents and
they all deserve to
be showcased
and presented among their
own
people
first
,
but
that does not mean that we should shift our focus completely on the works of our countries. A recent study had shown that
museums
and art galleries have had a great hand in achieving modernization, owing to the display of
talents
all over the world,
people
got
to know what
people
have already achieved and even learn from them. We can definitely give preference to the
talent
we have in our country
first
by reserving
some
sections
only
for the local talents.

Also
keeping the collection global enables us to have a wide array of options and
thus
encouraging the
people
to
come
in every week and looking for the new things
people
have achieved all over the world, isn't that the sole reason we have
museums
and art galleries in the
first
place?
.
Plus more
people
coming in, means more support through tickets and tourism.
For instance
the Madam
Tussats
Wax
Museum
is
so
renowned for its worldwide collection of wax statues,
people
from each continent have it in their bucket list.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, we should nurture what we have
but
also
make
ourselves aware of what other have,
so
that we can learn from it and
eventually
grow together and build a world as a better place.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the works of their own countries instead of the work of art from other parts of the world. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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