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Many people prefer to spend money and to not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Many people prefer to spend money and to not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Some individuals favour to use up their cash rather than save it. Firstly, this essay will discuss the different causes of this practice and secondly, it will discuss how this is a negative development for people need to allow some money for future use. On the one hand, there are many motives why people choose to spend all of their money. Spending can give a boost to your confidence because you know that you are capable of buying the things that you want with your own money. Others consider it as a way of relieving their stress as buying can give an immeasurable pleasure, plus some people would prefer to have a spontaneous life and that is why they don’t think about the future. For instance, a survey by the University of the Philippines in 2011 revealed that 90% of their correspondents would choose to spend all of their money rather than saving some of it for they believe that they only live once. On the other hand, not saving your money has detrimental effects. People should learn how to save their money because we can't predict the future. Saving money can help you become financially secure and provide a safety net in case of an emergency. You will need money set aside for these emergencies to avoid going into debt to pay for your necessities. For example, an article by the Business Mirror in 2014 stated that not having enough money to pay for a medical emergency might force someone into taking out a loan, that savings might have otherwise covered. In conclusion, in my view people should prepare for the future. Saving some of your earnings can be beneficial for it can provide you a safety net in case of an emergency.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up their cash
rather
than save it.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
causes of this practice and
secondly
, it will discuss how this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
motives why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to spend all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Spending can give a boost to your confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you know that you are capable of buying the things that you want with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Others consider it as a way of relieving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as buying can give an immeasurable pleasure, plus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to have a spontaneous life and
that is
why they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For instance
, a survey by the University of the Philippines in 2011 revealed that 90% of their correspondents would choose to spend all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of it for they believe that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
once.

On the other hand
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has detrimental effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should learn how to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can't predict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you become
financially
secure and provide a safety net in case of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergency
. You will need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
set aside for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergencies
to avoid going into debt to pay for your necessities.
For example
, an article by the Business Mirror in 2014 stated that not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay for a medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergency
might force someone into taking out a loan, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
might have
otherwise
covered.

In conclusion
, in my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should prepare for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of your earnings can be beneficial for it can provide you a safety net in case of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergency
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Many people prefer to spend money and to not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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