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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.19

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. v. 19
With the advent of technology people’s way of communicating have changed. Communication between individuals who are separated by a distance has become easier through the use of cell phone and internet. While others say that such technology makes people more sociable, others are of the notion that it has affected the way we socialize adversely. In my point of view, it has improved the means we connect to people who are far from us, but it has had a negative effect on how we socialize personally. Modern technology such as cell phone and internet has improved the way we communicate to our love ones who is far from us. Cell phones and internet can be used with a click of a finger, not only to talk to someone across the globe, but also we can see them through video call. We can use cell phone applications like “IMO” and” face time” to make video calls, here we can see them like face to face. As such brings a feeling that as if we are with our love ones. However, though these technologies have had benefits of long distance communication, it has also spoiled the way we deal face to face. Many people nowadays do not personally talk as often as before. It is common to see people who are spending a lot of their time in their phone checking face book and chatting with someone. In doing so, they lessen their time in talking to someone who is with them. For instance, in a restaurant, some people do not often talk to each other because everyone is busy on their cell phones. Situations like this took away the precious time for personal communications. In conclusion, although modern technology has improved the way we socialize with someone who is miles away from us, it has affected the way we deal with someone who is with us adversely. Self-discipline should be observed in using communication technology so that socialization in our community will not be compromised.
With the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of communicating have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Communication between individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are separated
by a distance has become easier through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet. While others say that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more sociable, others are of the notion that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way we socialize
adversely
. In my point of view, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the means we connect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are far from us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on how we socialize
personally
.

Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the way we communicate to our
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ones' should be used.
is
far from us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with a click of a finger, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
across the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them through video call. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
applications like “IMO” and”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time”
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls, here we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. As such brings a feeling that as if we are with our
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
.

However
, though these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have had benefits of long distance communication, it has
also
spoiled the way we deal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays do not
personally
talk as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
checking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
book and chatting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they lessen their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is with them.
For instance
, in a restaurant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
talk to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone is busy on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Situations like this took away the precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for personal communications.

In conclusion
, although modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the way we socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is miles away from us, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way we deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is with us
adversely
. Self-discipline should
be observed
in using communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that socialization in our community will not
be compromised
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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