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Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.4

Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. 4
People have different opinion, some people believe that it is perfect to follow the path shown by the aged people, whereas others assert that it will be beneficial if youngsters argue on the conventional viewpoint and try to think the things. This essay will discuss both of the area of thoughts. Pitching into the first area discussion, it is good to know the most successful of people who tried and failed but they got up again. The accepting the view of older people is going to help the young people because the have experience in that subject and already try to do all methods. Additionally following the same strategy in any particular area, may decrease the chances of failure. For example in history, we can see that hoe the sons of kings used to apply the same strategy. So, taking the above into consideration the best teacher is this which tried. On the other hand, it is better for young people to get the decision alone. As Maria said if we are not making mistakes, it means we are not trying hard enough. For instance, young people have not the experience of things and it is accepted that they make mistakes, but from these mistakes they can learn. However the things are changing day by day, this means that all people started to think with the data of their society. To enclose, this makes the people more flexible for changes and better for critical think. To summarize, i believe that a mix of both conventional and modern thinking must be followed according to different circumstances. The point is to learn from the mistakes. The really, matter of fact is to make not the same mistakes. We have our opinion and if we think with the correct way, we have the perfect decision, but one second opinion, i think makes the reality better.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is perfect to follow the path shown by the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas others assert that it will be beneficial if youngsters argue on the conventional viewpoint and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the things. This essay will discuss both of the area of thoughts.

Pitching into the
first
area discussion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to know the most successful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tried and failed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
up again. The accepting the view of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the have experience in that subject and already try to do all methods.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
following the same strategy in any particular area, may decrease the chances of failure.
For example
in history, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that hoe the sons of kings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to apply the same strategy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, taking the above into consideration the best teacher is this which tried.

On the other hand
, it is better for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the decision alone. As Maria said if we are not making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
, it means we are not trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For instance
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not the experience of things and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
they can learn.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the things are changing day by day, this means that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
with the data of their society. To enclose, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more flexible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and better for critical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

To summarize
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that a mix of both conventional and modern thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances. The point is to learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. The
really
, matter of fact is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
not the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. We have our opinion and if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
with the correct way, we have the perfect decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one second opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the reality better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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