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Fossil fuels (coal, oil and natural gas) are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

Fossil fuels (coal, oil and natural gas) are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
In many countries, fossil fuels have been consumed with a big amount and played an important role in certain industries. However, governments in some countries have made renewable sources of energy such as wind and solar become more popular. In my opinion, I strongly believe that supporting the usage of sustainable sources of power is a positive development. On one hand, there are challenges arising when applying alternative sources of energy. First of all, generator systems such as polar panels or windmills require advanced technologies which are not available in some developing countries. Besides, initial costs to build proper facilities for renewable energy are much higher than fossil fuels, so that authorities may not be willing to invest in alternative sources of energy. However, the sustainable sources of power have been proved to have lots of advantages by scientists. Firstly, scientific studies have proved that renewable energy does not harm the environment as much as the fossil fuels do. For example, solar energy is generated by polar panels which gather heat from the sun, then transfer it into electricity. The whole progress is very friendly to the environment while burning coals or petrol causes serious effects such as the greenhouse effect, which in turns leads to global warming. Secondly, natural resources such as the sun, wind and tide are free and unlimited while formation of fossil fuels requires thousands of years to establish. Therefore, the price of solar or wind power will become cheaper in comparison with petrol or coals in the long term. For that reason, it can be concluded that not only the environment but also the economy will have benefits from sustainable energy. In a nutshell, it is undeniable that the increasing popularity of alternative sources of power has been bringing about many positive impacts on the environment. Thus, governments should invest more money to build infrastructure which enables further development of renewable energy.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
have
been consumed
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount and played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in certain industries.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as wind and solar become more popular. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that supporting the usage of sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

On one hand, there are challenges arising when applying alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, generator systems such as polar panels or windmills require advanced technologies which are not available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
Besides
, initial costs to build proper facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are much higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that authorities may not be willing to invest in alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of energy.

However
, the sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
have
been proved
to have lots of advantages by scientists.
Firstly
, scientific studies have proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
does not harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as much as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
do.
For example
, solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is generated
by polar panels which gather heat from the sun, then transfer it into electricity. The whole progress is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
while burning coals or petrol causes serious effects such as the greenhouse effect, which in turns leads to global warming.
Secondly
, natural resources such as the sun, wind and tide are free and unlimited while formation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
requires thousands of years to establish.
Therefore
, the price of solar or wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
will become cheaper
in comparison
with petrol or coals in the long term. For that reason, it can
be concluded
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the economy will have benefits from sustainable energy.

In a nutshell, it is undeniable that the increasing popularity of alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
has been bringing about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest more money to build infrastructure which enables
further
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Fossil fuels (coal, oil and natural gas) are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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