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Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v.5

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 5
This is a true fact to consider that in the present days mobile phone has become a vital part of our life and majority of the people in the world are using it. However, this biggest revolution seems like has been a cause for irritation in some places. Considering this some analysts insist that mobile phones should be banned in the public places. I staunchly agree with the above-recommended proposition due to a variety of notable reasons. There are significant facts and reasons that affirm that mobile phones should be banned in places like hospital, public bus, train, library, shops, convention centres and many other public places because it has been the reason for the annoyance of other people in many ways.   First and foremost distraction could be a significant factor why people get annoyed when other people talk loudly over their mobile phones.   For instance, a library mainly focuses on providing a quiet environment for readers; however, when people use mobile phones inside the libraries, the serenity of the environment is lost.   The mobile phone should be completely banned in the hospital as it not only disturbs the patients and others but could also tamper the highly sophisticated machines that are used to diagnosis patients. The mobile phone usages in private cars are one of the main reasons for increased road accidents these days. The use of this device in public transportation is also a violation of privacy and people’s right to travel peacefully. In spite of the views discussed above regarding banning the mobile phone in public places, there are some groups who consider mobile phone should not be banned in the public places. They opine that this is the primary communication device for people and if it is banned, people would suffer greatly and would face many incomprehensible inconveniences. For instance, if someone is travelling in a public vehicle and his office needs to update him for a very urgent issue, banning the use of cell phone would make it impossible. Banning the cell phone in places like shopping mall would make it impossible for people to get directions to a shop, compare products online and make an informed decision about purchasing a product. In summary, due to some benefits offered by the mobile phone usages in public places, it would be hard to ban its usages in public places. However, I think that imposing some restrictions on mobile phone usages in public places would be a better idea.
This is a true fact to consider that in the present days mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has become a vital part of our life and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world are using it.
However
, this biggest revolution seems like has been a cause for irritation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Considering this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analysts insist that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I
staunchly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above-recommended proposition due to a variety of notable reasons.

There are significant facts and reasons that affirm that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like hospital,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
bus, train, library, shops, convention
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has been the reason for the annoyance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
First
and foremost distraction could be a significant factor why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
annoyed when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talk
loudly
over their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For instance
, a library
mainly
focuses on providing a quiet environment for readers;
however
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
inside the libraries, the serenity of the environment
is lost
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
should be completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in the hospital as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disturbs the patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could
also
tamper the
highly
sophisticated machines that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to diagnosis patients. The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
in private cars are one of the main reasons for increased road accidents these days.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this device in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation is
also
a violation of privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
right to travel
peacefully
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the views discussed above regarding banning the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups who consider mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. They opine that this is the primary communication device for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and if it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would suffer
greatly
and would face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
incomprehensible inconveniences.
For instance
, if someone is travelling in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicle and his office needs to update him for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
urgent issue, banning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible. Banning the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like shopping mall would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
directions to a shop, compare products online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision about purchasing a product.

In summary, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits offered by the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to ban its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would be a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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