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Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. with this statement? v. 1
IN THIS FAST PACE LIFE NOBODY HAS TIME TO GREET OTHERS AS THEY THINK THE TIME CAN BE USEFUL IN MANY OTHER WAY RATHER THAN MEETING EACHOTHER. HENCE, I THIINK FOLKS DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIBOURHOOD. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE PRIME REASON BEHIND THIS TREND AND SECONDLY, WHAT CAN BE THE SOLUTION TO THIS ISSUE. THE CAUSE OF BEING ISOLATED FROM EACH OTHER IS THE HUMAN URGE TOHAVE MORE MONEY BY WORKING MORE THEN NEEDED HOURS AND PEOPLE THINK EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A PRIVACY IN THEIR LIFE. THUS, THEY DO NOT WANT TO INTEFERE IN SOMEONES ELSE LIFE. INDIRECLTY, THIS IS THE WAY OF GIVING RESPECT AND DIGNITY TO OTHERS. THIS LEADS INCREASE IN INSECURITY AROUND THE AREA WHERE ANY CRIMINAL OFFENCE IS EASY TO ATTEMPT. FOR EXAMPLE, 90% OF THE UH COMMUNITY PREFERED NO TO DISTURB OTHERS BY ANY MEANS. DUE TO THE ANCIENT THOUGHTS. HENCE, THERE IS A BOOST IN THE THEFT RATE. THE SOLUTION OF THIS MENACE IS THE PROVIDING AWARENESS AMONG THE COMMUNITY AS THEY ARE WELL EDUCATED AND UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE. THEY ABLE TO GRASP THE MESSAGE QUICKLY. THE AWARNESS PROGRAM MAKE THEM REALIZE THE NECESSITY OF KNOWING INDIVIDUALS WORUND US IN THIS CONTEMPORARY WORLD. THIS CAN BE DONE WITH THE SUPPORT OF GOVERNMENT AND INDIVIDUAL INTEREST. FOR INSTANCE, IN THE INDIA, PEOPLE USED TO TAKE CARE OF EACHOTHER LIKE A FAMILY. THEREFOR THE LAW BREAKING OFFENCE IS AT 10% IN COMPARISON TO OTHER DEVELOPING NATIONS. IN CONCLUSION, SUFFICIENT INFORMATION ABOUT EACHOTHER INDEED PROVIDE AN EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL SECURITY, HOWEVER, THIS ONLY POSSIBLE IF EVERYONE WORK AS A TEAM TO PROTECT THE COUNTRY FROM THE CRIME.
IN THIS
FAST
PACE LIFE NOBODY HAS TIME TO GREET OTHERS AS THEY
THINK
THE TIME CAN BE USEFUL IN
MANY
OTHER
WAY
RATHER
THAN MEETING
EACHOTHER
.
HENCE
, I
THIINK
FOLKS DO NOT HAVE
ENOUGH
INFORMATION ABOUT THE
NEIBOURHOOD
.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE PRIME REASON BEHIND THIS TREND AND
SECONDLY
, WHAT CAN BE THE SOLUTION TO THIS ISSUE.

THE CAUSE OF
BEING ISOLATED
FROM EACH
OTHER
IS THE HUMAN URGE
TOHAVE
MORE MONEY BY WORKING MORE
THEN
NEEDED HOURS AND
PEOPLE
THINK
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A PRIVACY IN THEIR LIFE.
THUS
, THEY DO NOT WANT TO
INTEFERE
IN SOMEONES ELSE LIFE.
INDIRECLTY
, THIS IS THE WAY OF GIVING RESPECT AND DIGNITY TO OTHERS. THIS LEADS INCREASE IN INSECURITY AROUND THE AREA WHERE ANY CRIMINAL
OFFENCE
IS EASY TO ATTEMPT.
FOR EXAMPLE
, 90% OF THE UH COMMUNITY
PREFERED
NO
TO DISTURB OTHERS BY ANY MEANS. DUE TO THE ANCIENT THOUGHTS.
HENCE
, THERE IS A BOOST IN THE THEFT RATE.

THE SOLUTION OF THIS MENACE IS THE PROVIDING AWARENESS AMONG THE COMMUNITY AS THEY ARE WELL EDUCATED AND UNDERSTANDING
PEOPLE
.
THEY
ABLE TO GRASP THE MESSAGE
QUICKLY
. THE
AWARNESS
PROGRAM
MAKE
THEM REALIZE THE NECESSITY OF KNOWING INDIVIDUALS
WORUND
US IN THIS CONTEMPORARY WORLD. THIS CAN
BE DONE
WITH THE SUPPORT OF
GOVERNMENT
AND INDIVIDUAL INTEREST.
FOR INSTANCE
, IN THE INDIA,
PEOPLE
USED
TO TAKE CARE OF
EACHOTHER
LIKE A FAMILY. THEREFOR THE LAW BREAKING
OFFENCE
IS AT 10%
IN COMPARISON
TO
OTHER
DEVELOPING NATIONS.

IN CONCLUSION
, SUFFICIENT INFORMATION ABOUT
EACHOTHER
INDEED
PROVIDE AN EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL SECURITY,
HOWEVER
, THIS
ONLY
POSSIBLE IF EVERYONE WORK AS A TEAM TO PROTECT THE COUNTRY FROM THE CRIME.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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