Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v.3

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 3
Nowadays, mobile phones have become an inevitable part of life. Although they have made the communication much easier in each step of our daily life, some people opine that they should be restricted in public places such as libraries, shops and public vehicles. I, totally, support the view and the reasons for this will be discussed below. Firstly, public places are usually expected to be quiet and peaceful so that they are acceptable to everyone and the uses of mobile phones in such places are likely to disrupt the desirable working environment. For instance, in a library, where people are pondering over the books, the constant mobile ringtones or the phone conversation will be intrusive or irritating. Secondly, the use of mobile phones for luring activities as facebook chatting, taking pictures, playing games, listening songs and so on can prove to be undesirable in public places. It is quite noticeable that these days, teenagers are taking pictures everywhere, at libraries, trains, buses, roads, hospitals etc which is a matter of annoyance. An example of this is my friend, who once was taking selfies continuously on the train when the passenger beside her got offended. For these reasons, restrictions on mobile phones on public places would prove to be useful in creating a sense of comfort in public. In a nutshell, although the merits of mobile phones are numerous, it would be a definitely good decision to ban them in public places as it would create a sense of comfort and a harmonious environment for all.
Nowadays, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have become an inevitable part of life. Although they have made the communication much easier in each step of our daily life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that they should
be restricted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as libraries, shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles. I,
totally
, support the view and the reasons for this will
be discussed
below.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be quiet and peaceful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are acceptable to everyone and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are likely to disrupt the desirable working environment.
For instance
, in a library, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are pondering over the books, the constant mobile ringtones or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
conversation will be intrusive or irritating.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for luring activities as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
chatting, taking pictures, playing games, listening songs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on can prove to be undesirable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. It is quite noticeable that these days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are taking pictures everywhere, at libraries, trains, buses, roads, hospitals etc which is a matter of annoyance. An example of this is my friend, who once was taking selfies
continuously
on the train when the passenger beside her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
offended. For these reasons, restrictions on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would prove to be useful in creating a sense of comfort in public.

In a nutshell, although the merits of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are numerous, it would be a definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision to ban them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as it would create a sense of comfort and a harmonious environment for all.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts