Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v.2

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 2
Telecommunication technology has played a vital role in information sharing and bringing people closer. Its usage has become a basic necessity of life and one cannot image to live without mobile phones. Prohibition of cell phones in public places is laudable, but I don't agree fully and believe that their usage should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions. On the one hand, using mobile phones in public places can distract other people and divert their attentions. For instance, libraries where people reading material of interest can be easily distracted through ringtones of incoming calls or people talking over the phone loudly with their loved ones. Mobile phone usage in public places like hospitals can easily interfere with the medical equipment which can be harmful to the patient. Moreover, talking over the cell phone can increase the sufferings of the patients waiting in the room to see the doctor. Mobile phones can easily slip from the hand when someone bumps in departmental stores it will not only damage the devices but it can block the entire lane at the billing counter. Often the environment at shopping malls, stores and other public avenue is very noisy and talking over cell phones will add extra decibel. Moreover, its usage in Music galleries or prayers room can result in discomfort for others and spoil their entertainment or offerings. On the other hand, restricting usage of mobile phones in public places can keep people away to stay in touch with their loved one in case of emergency and so on. Mobile phones nowadays come up with cameras and other services like Email, Entertainment and so on. This would keep them away from capturing the pictures of events in music galleries or taking selfies in public buses and sharing with their friends on the go. Moreover, people love to listen to music during travelling will have little to enjoy. Cell phones can easily be switched to silent/vibrate mode, this will not distract people due to loud ringtones of incoming calls or messages. To conclude, the above points provide plausible arguments in favour of both views. However, I personally believe that cell phones should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions in place so that they can remain in touch with their friends and family members whenever they need.
Telecommunication technology has played a vital role in information sharing and bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer. Its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
has become a basic necessity of life and one cannot image to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is laudable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
fully
and believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions.

On the one hand, using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and divert their attentions.
For instance
, libraries where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reading material of interest can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
distracted through ringtones of incoming calls or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talking over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
loudly
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like hospitals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
interfere with the medical equipment which can be harmful to the patient.
Moreover
, talking over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can increase the sufferings of the patients waiting in the room to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the doctor. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
slip from the hand when someone bumps in departmental stores it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
damage the devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can block the entire lane at the billing counter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
the environment at shopping malls, stores and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
avenue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
noisy and talking over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
extra decibel.
Moreover
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in Music galleries or prayers room can result in discomfort for others and spoil their entertainment or offerings.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away to stay in touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one in case of emergency and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with cameras and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services like Email, Entertainment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from capturing the pictures of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in music galleries or taking selfies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
buses and sharing with their friends on the go.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to listen to music during travelling will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to enjoy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
be switched
to silent/vibrate mode, this will not distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to loud ringtones of incoming calls or messages.

To conclude
, the above points provide plausible arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of both views.
However
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can remain in touch with their friends and family members whenever they need.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts