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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women v. 2
In this egalitarian society women are given equal footing with men, but still, some people think that men are more capable than women. This essay is in complete disagreement with this view and will discuss, in detail the reasons. To begin with, women have proved their mettle in society by executing labors task in excellent ways. For example, in many fields such as science, technology, aviation and military name few, but many women craved a niche. Even though, in many cities, some are struggling to get equal respect and dignity as men because of the superstitious mentality of some people. A recent report says that women rights are still violated by hooligans and they face serious discriminations in the workplace as well as family. Although many women proved that they are equal to men, the struggle still continues. One of the major discussion nowadays is about feminism. Does it have any negative connotation? No, it is the struggle of women for equal rights. To cite one example, many ladies were kept away from several occupations because of their gender, but through effort and hard work women eradicated this social evil to a great extent. To embark on, the government launched many schemes to bring up women from base to summit eventually this had a huge impact on society. For example, due to scholarship and other stipends many people started sending their girl children to school, this indeed helped a lot to secure a lucrative job and an admirable career for them. To conclude, from the above-mentioned points it is clear that women are equal to men, even though, many tasks which require physical strength can be hard for them, but they still hold right to get equally treated as men.
In this egalitarian society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
footing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more capable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. This essay is in complete disagreement with this view and will discuss, in detail the reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have proved their mettle in society by executing labors task in excellent ways.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields such as science, technology, aviation and military name few,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
craved a niche.
Even though
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
respect and dignity as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the superstitious mentality of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A recent report says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rights are
still
violated by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hooligans and
they face serious discriminations in the workplace
as well
as family. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
proved that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, the struggle
still
continues.

One of the major discussion nowadays is about feminism. Does it have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
connotation? No, it is the struggle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
rights. To cite one example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ladies were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from several occupations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
eradicated this social evil to a great extent. To embark on, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
launched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schemes to bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from base to summit
eventually
this had a huge impact on society.
For example
, due to scholarship and other stipends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
sending their girl children to school, this
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot to secure a lucrative job and an admirable career for them.

To conclude
, from the above-mentioned points it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks which require physical strength can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
hold right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equally
treated as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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