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Some people think that international travel makes them prejudiced rather than broad-minded. Give reasons why people fail to benefit from travel and how to improve the understanding ofcountries you visit. v.2

Some people think that international travel makes them prejudiced rather than broad-minded. Give reasons why people fail to benefit from travel and how to improve the understanding ofcountries you visit. v. 2
Recent years have witnessed an increase in international tourism, raising many questions of prejudices against the countries visited. Given that failing from profiting from international travel could be attributed to many reasons, there are many measures to promote the understanding of countries visited. There are many reasons why international travel leads to the bias in the countries visited. First, The increase in social unrests and the deterioration of political soundness in the countries visited could put the life of foreign visitors in jeopardy. In fact, many Western visitors venturing to many war-torn countries in Africa such as Egypt and Morrocco were killed and abducted by extreme religious groups, thereby having prejudices that Africa means terrorism and bigotry. Second, Visiting other countries is invariably associated with the possibilities of experiencing the local cultures and indigenous customs, thereby having biased perceptions of the locals. For example, many outbound tourists visiting India having a deeper understanding of the conventions of gender preferences and therefore in the belief that India people always undermine women’s rights and gender equality. However, the official authorities and tourists themselves should undertake some initiatives to enhance the knowledge of the countries they visit. First, governments should advertise positive imagines and footages about many beauty spots and traditional cultures on social networks and foreign trip advisor websites. For instance, By applying screen tourism showing videos of many idyllic forests and mountains and positive social norms of native dwellers, Iceland has had a good reputation in the international travel industry as a country with beautiful landscapes and friendly citizens. In addition, Tourists should refer to some travel bloggers or even governments’ travel guide websites for information enhancement, thereby knowing some dangerous destinations or some strict laws of the countries they visit in advance. In conclusion, that international travel act as a deterrent for visitors from benefiting could stem from the social insecurity and old traditional cultures of the host countries. The public officials and tourists themselves should take some measures such as advertisement and information reference to guarantee the advantages of international tourism.
Recent years have witnessed an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism, raising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions of prejudices against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
visited.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that failing from profiting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
could
be attributed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures to promote the understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
visited.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
leads to the bias in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
visited.
First
, The increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrests
and the deterioration of political soundness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
visited could put the life of foreign visitors in jeopardy. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Western visitors venturing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
war-torn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Africa such as Egypt and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morrocco
were killed
and abducted by extreme religious groups, thereby having prejudices that Africa means terrorism and bigotry. Second, Visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
invariably
associated with the possibilities of experiencing the local cultures and indigenous customs, thereby having biased perceptions of the locals.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outbound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting India having a deeper understanding of the conventions of gender preferences and
therefore
in the belief that India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always undermine women’s rights and gender equality.

However
, the official authorities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
themselves should undertake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiatives to enhance the knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they visit.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
imagines and
Possible spelling mistake found.
footages
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beauty spots and traditional cultures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks and foreign trip advisor websites.
For instance
, By applying screen tourism showing videos of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
idyllic forests and mountains and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
norms of native dwellers, Iceland has had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
industry as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes and friendly citizens.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
should refer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
bloggers or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
guide websites for information enhancement, thereby knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
destinations or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict laws of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they visit in advance.

In conclusion
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
act as a deterrent for visitors from benefiting could stem from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
insecurity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditional cultures of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The public officials and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
themselves should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures such as advertisement and information reference to guarantee the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that international travel makes them prejudiced rather than broad-minded. Give reasons why people fail to benefit from travel and how to improve the understanding ofcountries you visit. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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