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Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women v. 2
It is true that many people believe that man and women was born with different characteristics and this determind the job which is classified to them. Although, there are many strong argument opposed in the past. I completely disagree with this statement that applying this to world of job nowadays. On the one hand, man and women have their own characteristics and personal interest that affect to their job they chose later. In terms of phycical strength, when almost the situation that people do by hand, while women not to have a streng power to do these, it is undeniable the less of consequence of social development such urban areas. Another reason that, they are not to have an great opportunities to qualified as an plumber, electrician, car mechanic, etc. . . because of requirement of good heath. In term of pattern of gender characteristics imposed on the human as a whole, women are prioritized to play with their newborn and housework, an even take care for the retirement of elderly. On the other hand, workplace are changed too much, i believe old argument are no longer socially acceptable. One reason for that, both gender should be have equal opportunities to do whatever they want. The quality of education has been changed rapidly in modern society, the qualification give equally to people, if they do hard to achieve and pursue their careers, it will be worth for people to have a dream job. Another reason is that it was easily to break barrier which has been survive over few decades that an obvious benefit to women do all the job depend on their dream. By job market are necessary to society, people should help to fulfill their potential, such an flight attendance, cook, and variety of work. In conclusion, despite of some obvious disadvantages of gender characteristics on the sustainable and eco-social development later, all these advantage should be considered. Some people should be qualify as an essential manual worker such an plumber, electrician to ensure the quality of each family as well as community.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was born
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
and this
Possible spelling mistake found.
determind
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
is classified
to them.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strong argument opposed in the past. I completely disagree with this statement that applying this to world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
nowadays.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
and personal interest that affect to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they chose later. In terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycical
strength, when almost the situation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do by hand, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not to have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
streng
power to do these, it is undeniable
The phrase 'the less of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the less of
consequence of social development such urban areas. Another reason that, they are not to have
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
great
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "opportunity"?
opportunities
to qualified as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
plumber, electrician, car mechanic, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of requirement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
heath. In term of pattern of gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
imposed on the human as a whole,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are prioritized
to play with their newborn and housework, an even take care for the retirement of elderly.

On the other hand
, workplace are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
too much,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
argument are no longer
socially
acceptable. One reason for that, both gender should be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
equal opportunities to do whatever they want. The quality of education has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
in modern society, the qualification give
equally
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve and pursue their careers, it will be worth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Another reason is that it was
easily
to break barrier which has been
Consider using a past participle here: "survived".
survive
over few decades that an obvious benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
depend on their dream. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market are necessary to society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to fulfill their potential, such
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
flight attendance, cook, and variety of work.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious disadvantages of gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
on the sustainable and
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-social
development later, all these advantage should
be considered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Consider using the past participle "qualified"?
qualify
as an essential manual worker such
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
plumber, electrician to ensure the quality of each family
as well
as community.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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