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Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 4
Some people that that both genders have different qualities and therefore certain jobs are suitable for a particular gender only. I will discuss on a few points and try to state my opinion. In todays world where men and women are treated equally in almost every sector, there are still numerous people around different countries who believe there are certain jobs suitable for a specific gender only. However, I have a strong opinion that there is no such discrimination. Both genders are equally capable of excelling in any given field or sector. In ancient times, physically commanding jobs like construction workers and more authoritative profiles like CEO's of any organizations were mostly done by men. On the other hand, household related work like cooking or customer facing jobs were believed to be more suitable for ladies. This mentality has now completely changed. I completely disagree that jobs should be allotted or considered as per gender. A certain profession definitely requires a particular skill set or experience. What should be kept in mind before the suitability of a post should be such criteria, rather than the gender. In todays world, we see women as strong business and finance leaders of the immensely successful multinational organisation. We also know about men doing their best as chefs in world class hotels. Hence, according to me, what matters more is skills, dedication, work attitude and experience. Both men and women are equally capable to succeed in any given job To conclude, I will say that different people have their opinion and beliefs, but emphatically speaking both men and women are equally physically as well as mentally strong and can undertake any job or responsibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
both genders have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
qualities and
therefore
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are suitable for a particular gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. I will discuss on a few points and try to state my opinion.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
in almost every sector, there are
still
numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries who believe there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
suitable for a specific gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
However
, I have a strong opinion that there is no such discrimination. Both genders are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
capable of excelling in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
field or sector.

In ancient times,
physically
commanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like construction workers and more authoritative profiles like CEO's of any organizations were
mostly
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
On the other hand
, household related work like cooking or customer facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were believed
to be more suitable for ladies. This mentality has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should
be allotted
or considered as per gender.

A certain profession definitely requires a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set or experience. What should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the suitability of a post should be such criteria,
rather
than the gender. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as strong business and finance leaders of the
immensely
successful multinational
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
. We
also
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
doing their best as chefs in world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
hotels.
Hence
, according to me, what matters more is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, dedication, work attitude and experience. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
capable to succeed in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
job


To conclude
, I will say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their opinion and beliefs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
emphatically
speaking both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
physically
as well
as mentally strong and can undertake any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or responsibility.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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