Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 2
There are people who believe that some jobs suit men better and others that suit women better, because both sexes have different qualities. I partially agree, because, though men and women have, generally, the different qualities that make them more apt to certain jobs, there are many exceptions. Biology shows us many differences between the sexes, due to physiological characteristics of each sex. One of these differences is that while men tend to be physically stronger, woman tend to be more flexible. Therefore, men can be more apt for jobs as a boxer or a miner, while women can be more suitable for professions as a gymnast or a ballerina. There are also psychological distinctions between them. Women have a tendency to be more emotional and have more ability to express their feelings, meanwhile, men tend to hide more their feelings and be less emotional. Because of that, women can be better at jobs as a teacher or a psychiatrist. However, even with these differences, there are many people that are exceptions to this, you can find many women who are strong, as female martial arts fighters, and men that can handle their feelings well, male psychiatrists for example. Therefore, employers should not hire based on the candidate's sex, but in his, or her, skills and qualifications. In conclusion, men and women have physical and psychological differences, however, there are many people who do not fit this rule, and because of that, employers should never hire based on sex. So everyone can have a fair chance in getting a job.
There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
suit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
that suit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
qualities. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have,
generally
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
qualities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more apt to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exceptions.

Biology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
, due to physiological characteristics of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. One of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
is that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
tend to be
physically
stronger, woman tend to be more flexible.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can be more apt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as a boxer or a miner, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can be more suitable for professions as a gymnast or a ballerina.

There are
also
psychological distinctions between them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
have a tendency to be more emotional and have more ability to express their feelings, meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
more their feelings and be less emotional.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can be better at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as a teacher or a psychiatrist.

However
, even with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are exceptions to this, you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are strong, as female martial arts fighters, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
that can handle their feelings well, male psychiatrists
for example
.
Therefore
, employers should not hire based on the candidate's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in his, or her,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have physical and psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not fit this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, employers should never hire based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everyone can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance in getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts