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The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v.1

The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v. 1
Cities, nowadays, are suffering from various worrying issues, such as traffic congestion and air pollution. Some hold the view that the government should first tackle the traffic jam in cities. However, opponents believe, there are some other pressing problems, which authorities should equally consider to solve. Heavy traffic is considered the most common issue among big cities. The getting from A to B, particularly in rush hours, can take several frustrating hours of majesty dwellers time. In other words, commuting to work and home takes a significant percentage of the citizens’ time. Furthermore, the increasing number of cars had also caused air pollution. Pollutant particles in the air, resulted by vehicles’ fumes, can seriously threaten people’s health, especially, vulnerable groups of citizens like children or elders. The increasing number of vehicles in urban streets is a vital problem, and dealing with it requires a long amount of time and a concrete plan as well as a considerable investment. However, governments should not ignore other city challenges, including over-population, higher cost of living and public transport. All of these subjects could enormously impact citizens, and, therefore, should be taken into account with equal priority. Moreover, city issues tend to have a deteriorating impact on each other. As a result, it is highly unlikely that a town can overcome one challenge without considering other problems, and also their relationship with other ones. For example, development in public transport infrastructure can significantly decrease the congestion rate. To sum up, cities are often facing numerous irritating challenges. Many cite issues related to the number of cars, like congestion and air contamination, should be prioritized. Nevertheless, it seems advisable the city officials should take tackling all problems into account, rather than focusing merely on one issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
, nowadays, are suffering from various worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, such as traffic congestion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
hold the view that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
first
tackle the traffic jam in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, opponents believe, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which authorities should
equally
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider solving".
consider to solve
.

Heavy traffic
is considered
the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The getting from A to B,
particularly
in rush hours, can take several frustrating hours of majesty dwellers time. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, commuting to work and home takes a significant percentage of the citizens’ time.
Furthermore
, the increasing number of cars had
also
caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. Pollutant particles in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, resulted by vehicles’ fumes, can
seriously
threaten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health,
especially
, vulnerable groups of citizens like children or elders.

The increasing number of vehicles in urban streets is a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and dealing with it requires a long amount of time and a concrete plan
as well
as a considerable investment.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
city challenges, including over-population, higher cost of living and public transport. All of these subjects could
enormously
impact citizens, and,
therefore
, should
be taken
into account with equal priority.
Moreover
, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
tend to have a deteriorating impact on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
As a result
, it is
highly
unlikely that a town can overcome one challenge without considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and
also
their relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones.
For example
, development in public transport infrastructure can
significantly
decrease the congestion rate.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
facing numerous irritating challenges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
cite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
related to the number of cars, like congestion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
contamination, should
be prioritized
.
Nevertheless
, it seems advisable the city officials should take tackling all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
into account,
rather
than focusing
merely
on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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