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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v.2

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2
It is true that in contemporary life people in many parts of the world are able to do their shopping, work and communicate with each other via the internet. While there are clear positive aspects of this trend, there are also negative aspects of having less face-to-face contact with other people. On the one hand, the internet can be very handy in many ways. Many people use it to keep in touch with friends and family, using Facebook, Skype or What’s App to send instant messages or to enjoy a quick chat. Many also use the internet for online shopping, thus saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket as well as hunting around different sites for bargains. However, it is in terms of work that the internet offers the most potential benefits. More and more people are working or even studying from home, at hours which suit their own schedules. Many hours are saved each week by eliminating the daily commute and the stress of coping with the rush hour. On the other hand, as social beings, people need personal contacts. Firstly, virtual friendships which are formed online may not be genuine. The media carries many horror stories of youngsters who have fallen prey to paedophiles, for example. Secondly, online shopping is not always appropriate, depending on the item. It is best, for instance, to try on clothes before buying, and while a bookworm can find almost any book title that they want online, they will certainly miss browsing the shelves of bookstores. Finally, personal interaction with work colleagues can generate ideas and avoid misunderstandings. In conclusion, although there are positive aspects of this trend, there are also aspects of face-to-face contact which it would be a shame to lose.
It is true that in contemporary life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world are able to do their shopping, work and communicate with each other via the internet. While there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of this trend, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of having less face-to-face contact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, the internet can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with friends and family, using Facebook, Skype or What’s App to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
instant messages or to enjoy a quick chat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping,
thus
saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket
as well
as hunting around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sites for bargains.
However
, it is in terms of work that the internet offers the most potential benefits. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working or even studying from home, at hours which suit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedules.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
hours
are saved
each week by eliminating the daily commute and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of coping with the rush hour.

On the other hand
, as social beings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need personal contacts.
Firstly
, virtual friendships which
are formed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
may not be genuine. The media carries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
horror stories of youngsters who have fallen prey to
Possible spelling mistake. 'paedophiles' is British English.
paedophiles
,
for example
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is not always appropriate, depending on the item. It is best,
for instance
, to try on clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying, and while a bookworm can find almost any book title that they want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they will
certainly
miss browsing the shelves of bookstores.
Finally
, personal interaction with work colleagues can generate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and avoid misunderstandings.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of this trend, there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of face-to-face contact which it would be a shame to lose.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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