Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. v. 2
One of the biggest debate humans have is whether city life is better than village life or vice versa. However, I believe that rural life is far better than urban lifestyle. This essay will indulge in both views. To commence, with the multifarious reasons why some people think that cities are better place to live. The predominant one is that the availability of all facilities, such as hospitals for health treatments, college and universities for good education, shopping centres for shopping needs and so on. Whereas, people living in rural areas have to go in cities to get such amenities. Therefore, people believe that living in cities is full of provisions. Instead of this is cultural diversity. Some of the big cities attract people to come and live from different backgrounds. We can meet them and can know about their culture activities and lifestyle. Moving further, with the advantages of living in rural areas. First and foremost is that it is a pollution free place, for example air, noise, and water pollution. Villagers breath fresh air that makes them strong and healthy. While in cities, pollution is on high level, which cause many diseases. Apart from this, is fresh and organic food. It is true that people have enough space to grow their own food, for instance rice, vegetables, fruits, milk, which is free from mixture and chemicals and healthy for them. In conclusion, to agglomerating the above-mentioned viewpoints, it can be said that masses hold distinct perceptions. As both the motions are relevant to some extent.
One of the biggest debate humans have is whether city life is better than village life or vice versa.
However
, I believe that rural life is far better than urban lifestyle. This essay will indulge in both views.

To commence, with the multifarious reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The predominant one is that the availability of all facilities, such as hospitals for health treatments, college and universities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for shopping needs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in rural areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such amenities.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is full of provisions.
Instead
of this is cultural diversity.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them and can know about their culture activities and lifestyle.

Moving
further
, with the advantages of living in rural areas.
First
and foremost is that it is a pollution free place,
for example
air, noise, and water pollution. Villagers breath fresh air that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them strong and healthy. While in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, pollution is on high level, which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases. Apart from this, is fresh and organic food. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space to grow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food,
for instance
rice, vegetables, fruits, milk, which is free from mixture and chemicals and healthy for them.

In conclusion
, to agglomerating the above-mentioned viewpoints, it can
be said
that masses hold distinct perceptions.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
both the motions are relevant to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts