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Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.5

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. 5
It is recommended for a city to have attractive buildings. Though, it is not mandatory to have such a framework. In my view, Money should be spent equally on all the elements, like Infrastructure, Healthcare and Education. We shall be discussing both the view in the following paragraphs. Firstly, if a city has tall or eye catching buildings, then it can expect more tourist in that place. Some people get fascinated by buildings and their structures. For example: Dubai has got the tallest building of the world, Burj Khalifa. Millions of people visit there to view the iconic beauty of Dubai from the top floor of the building. Hence, for a large number of people such fascinating experiences matter. However, every coin has two sides. A few would be against this belief that a city is known by its culture and architect. Many would be in favour of the idea of investing funds in renovation of School, Colleges, and Government Hospitals. For example: A recent study has shown that 90% of people who are below poverty line die every year only because of the lack of Hospitals in rural areas. If a town has a good health care and an Education set up for poor by this way they will be the happiest people on this planet. A good medical treatment and basic education are the only things that they crib for. To summarise, The Government should focus on overall development of a place. They should not concentrate only on one side of the growth. To become a "Smart City" it is very important to divide funds fairly.
It
is recommended
for a city to have attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, it is not mandatory to have such a framework. In my view, Money should
be spent
equally
on all the elements, like Infrastructure, Healthcare and Education. We shall be discussing both the view in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, if a city has tall or
'eye catching' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "eye-catching".
eye catching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, then it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
more tourist in that place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fascinated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and their structures.
For example
: Dubai has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the tallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of the world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burj
Khalifa. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit there to view the iconic beauty of Dubai from the top floor of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Hence
, for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such fascinating experiences matter.

However
, every coin has two sides. A few would be against this belief that a city
is known
by its culture and architect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
would be in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of investing funds in renovation of School, Colleges, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Hospitals.
For example
: A recent study has shown that 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are below poverty line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
every year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of Hospitals in rural areas. If a town has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health care and an Education set up for poor by this way they will be the happiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on this planet. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical treatment and basic education are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
things that they crib for.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should focus on
overall
development of a place. They should not concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on one side of the growth. To become a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Smart City
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to divide funds
fairly
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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