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Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. 1
Spending money on people that government is debatable. Some people have views that it should be spent on to build a high-rise building. On the contrast, others have the view that this money should be spent on education and health development. In my opinion, the government definitely should spend money to build a high rise building but not at the cost of schools and health centres. To begin with, there is no doubt that a Skytall tower building help government to have extra income. This kind of architect often built in the middle of the city, usually known as Downtown. Where most of the corporate offices rent their blocks for them as it is convenient for their employee to commute as well as getting other necessary stuff. In addition to this most of the tourists are attracted see the skyline views of the town from the top of that construction. This both ways governments have extra income and also have employment opportunities. Moreover, in recent time cities are recognised as a developed city based on how many tall buildings it has. On the other side, having a good education and health centres are equally important for the city. As most of the people are migrating from the countryside to urban because of their work, with their family so it's the prime duty of their particular government that it'll provide enough education and health care system. This is not only building any of school or hospital, they should make sure it has all adequate facilities that will require by people. For an instance, If a city gives best health care along with great education schema, then children will get extraordinary education and eventually it will benefit city as they will most likely prefer to have their job in a hometown. In conclusion, although spending money on building a tall, impressive and enormous construction is important same time having great schooling and health development is equally necessity too.
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have views that it should
be spent
on to build a high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. On the contrast, others have the view that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
development. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
definitely should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build a high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the cost of schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Skytall
tower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to have extra income. This kind of architect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
built in the middle of the city,
usually
known as Downtown. Where most of the corporate offices rent their blocks for them as it is convenient for their employee to commute
as well
as getting other necessary stuff.
In addition
to this most of the tourists
are attracted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the skyline views of the town from the top of that construction. This both ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have extra income and
also
have employment opportunities.
Moreover
, in recent time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as a developed city based on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
it has.

On the other side, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the city. As most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating from the countryside to urban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their work, with their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's the prime duty of their particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that it'll provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
any of school or hospital, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure it has all adequate facilities that will require by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For an instance, If a city
A determiner is probably missing here: "gives the best".
gives best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care along with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
schema, then children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
eventually
it will benefit city as they will most likely prefer to have their job in a hometown.

In conclusion
, although spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
a tall, impressive and enormous construction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
same time having great schooling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
development is
equally
necessity too.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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