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A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure. Other services should be provided by private groups in the community. v.1

A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure. Other services should be provided by private groups in the community. v. 1
There is no doubt that the government should be responsible to provide defence and other important facilities, yet some people think that it's not its job to carry out other tasks. People who believe that the government is not obligated to enter in such main domains as health and education, allege that as they have the temptation that it should be done by private companies, as the taxes should only be spent on the country's defence and other infrastructures only. They claim that by letting some companies manage such domains will create a competition between them to generate the highest possible profits, forcing each of them to enhance its facilities and services to drive people to use their utilities. This will cause higher quality standards to form in such essential fields. While in the other side, other citizens give their support to the idea of that the government should be enrolled in such severe fields. This belief is generated from the idea of paying taxes in order to receive a high quality service with a convenient price, as by letting other private sectors deal with such sensitive aspects, problems may be issued. One of the main issues is the price that will be paid to get such service. Not only is that this problem is what worries people l, but also the fear of not getting what they deserve, as these companies might only grave for maximum profits, regardless of the standard of service supplied. In conclusion, I strongly believe and stand firm that it's our right to acquire the best service at the lowest possible cost, and this will only be fulfilled if our governments take such duties.
There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible to provide
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's not its job to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tasks.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not obligated to
There isn't usually a preposition after "enter". Did you mean "enter such main"?
enter in such main
domains as health and education, allege that as they have the temptation that it should
be done
by private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, as the taxes should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be spent
on the country's
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
infrastructures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. They claim that by letting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
manage such domains will create a competition between them to generate the highest possible profits, forcing each of them to enhance its facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to drive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their utilities. This will cause higher quality standards to form in such essential fields.

While in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
citizens give their support to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
be enrolled
in such severe fields. This belief
is generated
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of paying taxes in order to receive a high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
with a convenient price, as by letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
private sectors deal with such sensitive aspects, problems may
be issued
. One of the main issues is the price that will
be paid
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
is that this problem is what worries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
l,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the fear of not getting what they deserve, as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
grave for maximum profits, regardless of the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
supplied.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe and stand firm that it's our right to acquire the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
at the lowest possible cost, and this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be fulfilled
if our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
take such duties.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure. Other services should be provided by private groups in the community. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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