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Some people think that keeping animals in zoos is cruel. Others believe that zoos serve the purpose of educating about animals they would never have seen. v.1

Some people think that keeping animals in zoos is cruel. Others believe that zoos serve the purpose of educating about animals they would never have seen. v. 1
The proliferation of criminal activities has resulted in the increased use of surveillance cameras. The usefulness of these systems is debatable, as some people believe that these equipment limits our freedom. This essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages and why it is better to continue using video cameras in public places. Primarily, there are two reasons why many people subscribe to installation of close circuit systems in public places. Firstly, the availability of these monitoring devices have helped reduce the incidence of crime as people with bad intentions will be deterred from carrying out their evil acts, due to fear that they could be easily identified. For example, The nation newspaper reported a forty percent reduction in cases of phone theft reported in the Onikan area of Lagos due to the existence of cameras. Secondly, the presence of these recording facilities has also assisted in locating missing persons. When an individual has been declared lost, authorities can use them in finding such individual by monitoring cameras located at different locations within the neighbourhood. Despite the advantages explained above, some disadvantages have also been identified. To begin, it is argued that the privacy of members of the society is compromised due to the presence of cameras in our streets. Some of these could visualise some indoor activities through windows, thereby exposing what could be considered private affairs. Also, considering that this involves the use of information technology, it is therefore highly susceptible to hacking. Hackers may capitalise on vulnerabilities of these infrastructures to steal confidential videos which can be used for criminal activities. In conclusion, having considered the positive and negative aspects of installing CCTV systems, the advantages outweighs the disadvantages as the improved security and tracking assistance that is catered for by these systems overrides any disadvantage that could exist in the form of privacy intrusion and data theft.
The proliferation of criminal activities has resulted in the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
. The usefulness of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
is debatable, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that these equipment limits our freedom. This essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages and why it is better to continue using video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places.

Primarily
, there are two reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
subscribe to installation of close circuit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
in public places.
Firstly
, the availability of these monitoring devices have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the incidence of crime as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intentions will
be deterred
from carrying out their evil acts, due to fear that they could be
easily
identified.
For example
, The nation newspaper reported a forty percent reduction in cases of phone theft reported in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onikan
area of Lagos due to the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
.
Secondly
, the presence of these recording facilities has
also
assisted in locating missing persons. When an individual has
been declared
lost, authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in finding such individual by monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
located at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations within the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.

Despite the advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages have
also
been identified
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it
is argued
that the privacy of members of the society
is compromised
due to the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in our streets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these could
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualise' is British English.
visualise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indoor activities through windows, thereby exposing what could
be considered
private affairs.
Also
, considering that this involves the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of information technology, it is
therefore
highly
susceptible to hacking. Hackers may
Possible spelling mistake. 'capitalise' is British English.
capitalise
on vulnerabilities of these infrastructures to steal confidential videos which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for criminal activities.

In conclusion
, having considered the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of installing CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, the advantages outweighs the disadvantages as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
security and tracking assistance that
is catered
for by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
overrides any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
that could exist in the form of privacy intrusion and data theft.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that keeping animals in zoos is cruel. Others believe that zoos serve the purpose of educating about animals they would never have seen. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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