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Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Different students have different attitude towards physical education lessons - some of them enjoy jogging, playing football and competing with each other, some of them do not. The fact remains fact that in most of educational institutions PE courses are obligatory for all learners - regardless of their physical abilities and schoolwork. In this essay the level of necessity for physical education program will be discussed. First and foremost, PE programs are developed without taking into account particular student’s physical characteristics - such as body type, weight, lung capacity and etc. As a result, the self-esteem of those who complete tasks relatively worse than others may significantly lower. For example, when a given task is to run 100 meters in 15 seconds, those who suffer from overweight might not succeed as the assignment was not designed for their physique, and, therefore, feel physically handicapped. Thus, national standards for physical education classes should vary in accordance with physical characteristics and abilities of students. Secondly, the majority of high school students are usually overloaded with assignments, homework, projects and exam preparation which leads to anxiety and mental breakdowns. Most learners would agree that if even three hours per week allotted to PE classes would be spared or redistributed for others subjects (such as Math, Physics or Chemistry), which are actually crucial for their future careers, would help to complete most of the the assignments on time. However, for those who have free time and care about being physically active physical education classes should still be available. To draw a conclusion, PE programs need to be reconsidered by taking into account physical features in order to be suitable for all students. In addition, physical education lessons should be optional as it would allow students to unload from their schoolwork.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lessons
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them enjoy jogging, playing football and competing with each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them do not. The fact remains fact that in most of educational institutions PE courses are obligatory for all learners
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
regardless of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
abilities and schoolwork. In this essay the level of necessity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
program will
be discussed
.

First
and foremost, PE programs
are developed
without taking into account particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
characteristics
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
such as body type, weight, lung capacity
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
As a result
, the self-esteem of those who complete tasks
relatively
worse than others may
significantly
lower.
For example
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
task is to run 100 meters in 15 seconds, those who suffer from overweight might not succeed as the assignment was not designed for their physique, and,
therefore
, feel
physically
handicapped.
Thus
, national standards for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes should vary in accordance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
characteristics and abilities of students.

Secondly
, the majority of high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
usually
overloaded with assignments, homework, projects and exam preparation which leads to anxiety and mental breakdowns. Most learners would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that if even three hours per week allotted to PE classes would
be spared
or redistributed for others subjects (such as Math, Physics or Chemistry), which are actually crucial for their future careers, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to complete most of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
assignments on time.
However
, for those who have free time and care about being
physically
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes should
still
be available.

To draw a conclusion, PE programs need to
be reconsidered
by taking into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
features in order to be suitable for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lessons should be optional as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to unload from their schoolwork.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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