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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. v. 3
Many people believe that job stability is more important than satisfaction. Although the first reaction of some people is to agree with such statements. However, there are compelling reasons to refute this claim. In the following paragraphs, there are a number of reasons for a more in-depth discussion on both sides of this issue. First, the main reason for having a permanent job is that the family must have a stable income. Take, for example, my friend Tina, whose parents are dancers. They are enjoying their dance performance. However, their salaries are unstable, so Tina and her siblings would not be able to attend University. Even though they got good grades in their senior high school. From such examples, it is clear that a guaranteed job is a big deal for the family. On the other hand, some people argue that professional satisfaction is more important for the young. Because they need to find achievements for what they are doing. So they will devote all their hearts to these causes. For example, my sister Jane is a doctor. Although it is quite tedious and dangerous, she finds achievements in helping others. So we can say that civilians need self-actualization to motivate their energy. In conclusion it should be said that none of the parties has absolutely no benefits. However, I agree with the position that satisfaction is more important. Since we speed up most of our working hours, we need to be enthusiastic. Otherwise, one day we will be burned to the ground.
Many
people
believe that job stability is more
important
than satisfaction.
Although
the
first
reaction of
some
people
is to
agree
with such statements.
However
, there are compelling reasons to refute this claim. In the following paragraphs, there are a number of reasons for a more in-depth discussion on both sides of this issue.

First
, the main reason for having a permanent job is that the family
must
have a stable income. Take,
for example
, my friend Tina, whose parents are dancers. They are enjoying their dance performance.
However
, their salaries are unstable,
so
Tina and her siblings would not be able to attend University.
Even though
they
got
good
grades in their senior high school. From such examples, it is
clear
that a guaranteed job is a
big
deal for the family.

On the other hand
,
some
people
argue that professional satisfaction is more
important
for the young.
Because
they need to find achievements for what they are doing.
So
they will devote all their hearts to these causes.
For example
, my sister Jane is a doctor. Although it is quite tedious and
dangerous
, she finds achievements in helping others.
So
we can say that civilians need self-actualization to motivate their energy.

In
conclusion it
should
be said
that none of the parties has
absolutely
no benefits.
However
, I
agree
with the position that satisfaction is more
important
. Since we
speed up
most of our working hours, we need to be enthusiastic.
Otherwise
, one day we will
be burned
to the ground.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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