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Prison is the best punisment. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Prison is the best punisment. v. 1
Nowadays, there are lots of crimes commited by criminals in many places in our society. In order to maintain our society, goverment offers and sends those who commit crime to prison. Although some people believe that imprisonment is the best punisment for them, I totally disagree with the statement. This essay will explain why I am completely againts that and give some convincing example. I should admit that prison would be the best place for some kinds of serious crimes. Such as robbery and sexual harrasment. Both of crimes definitely make our society suffer. Sending a criminal commiting both to prison and giving some periods inside will of course lead them to be behave better than before. In this case, I would therefore agree to the statement. However, I would argue that not all of crimes should be punished by imprisonment. There are some kinds of crimes that are not too serious and goverment just needs to provide them to a community service or support group for a number of months. On the other hands, prison might be too weak for some extreme crimes, such as corruption or murder. In this case, prison would definitely be not enough. For example, a serial killer certainly has to be punished by more than prison because it will be useless after all. To sum up, I do not believe that every single crime should be remanded to prison. Although some serious crimes have to deserve it, others deserve less or even more that imprisonment.
Nowadays, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
by criminals in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places in our society. In order to maintain our society,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
offers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
those who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that imprisonment is the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
punisment
for them, I
totally
disagree with the statement. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I am completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
againts
that and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
convincing example.

I should admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
would be the best place for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Such as robbery and sexual
Possible spelling mistake found.
harrasment
. Both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our society suffer. Sending a criminal
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
both to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
periods inside will
of course
lead them to be
Consider using a past participle here: "behaved".
behave
better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In this case
, I would
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement.

However
, I would argue that not all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should
be punished
by imprisonment. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that are not too serious and
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs to provide them to a community service or support group for a number of months. On the other hands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
might be too weak for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as corruption or murder.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
would definitely be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For example
, a serial killer
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be punished
by more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be useless
after all
.

To sum up, I do not believe that every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be remanded
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deserve it, others deserve less or even more that imprisonment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Prison is the best punisment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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