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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. v. 2
It is argued by some that job security is not as important as how satisfied we feel with what we do, whereas others believe that we should do a job that frees us from unemployment stress and ensures we have a stable income. I am personally in favour of the viewpoint of the first group. People who like the idea of doing a permanent job say that, in today’s cut-throat labour market where thousands of new graduates face unemployment annually, staying in the same job is a much safer choice than switching jobs to find job satisfaction. The combination of the increasingly competitive job market and the rising cost of living means that job security has become the most important consideration for job seekers. Many people experience temporary unemployment after quitting their previous jobs to look for new ones that offer a higher level of job satisfaction. For those who are the primary breadwinners, this is a risky decision. Despite the above arguments, I feel that we should never stop looking for jobs that make us happy and fulfilled. I personally believe that no matter how competitive the labour market is, there are always enough jobs for everyone. Spending several months or even a year seeking a rewarding job is much better than spending a lifetime stuck in a job that we are reluctant to do just because it is safe and stable. My grandfather, for example, has always regretted not following the photography career that he would have loved to have had; instead, he chose to be a teacher because of a stable monthly pay check. I n conclusion, although some argue that a secure job is more important than a satisfying job, I am of the opinion that we should always look for a job that brings us happiness and fulfilment rather than stability.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as how satisfied we feel with what we do, whereas others believe that we should do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that frees us from unemployment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and ensures we have a stable income. I am
personally
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the viewpoint of the
first
group.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of doing a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
say that, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market where thousands of new graduates face unemployment
annually
, staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a much safer choice than switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. The combination of the
increasingly
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market and the rising cost of living means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security has become the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experience temporary unemployment after quitting their previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to look for new ones that offer a higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. For those who are the primary breadwinners, this is a risky decision.

Despite the above arguments, I feel that we should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us happy and fulfilled. I
personally
believe that no matter how competitive the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market is, there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for everyone. Spending several months or even a year seeking a rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is much better than spending a lifetime stuck in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that we are reluctant to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is safe and stable. My grandfather,
for example
, has always regretted not following the photography career that he would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to have had;
instead
, he chose to be a teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a stable monthly pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.

I

n conclusion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I am of the opinion that we should always look for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that brings us happiness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
rather
than stability.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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