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Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. v. 2
In this modern era family relations and responsibilities have become more rational especially with youngsters. Many individuals cite that to uplift children it is better them to leave family as early as possible, while others advocate that, they should stay with their care takers as long as they need. I opine that juveniles should be motivated to leave their homes; this essay will discuss the reasons and examples of my standing. On one hand, there is a faction who argues that a child should be in care of their family. One main reason that put forward as a prime benefit for this argument is, that caregivers or parents can teach the moral responsibilities in a way that they could understand easily. As they brought up with their families, the communication and love between parents and children will be utmost when compared to external world, as a result they can understand easily. Moreover, some families have cultural traditions to teach to children about the ways and rules, especially in orthodox cases. In short, families can teach the moralities and culture if they stay with the family as long as they need. On the other hand, masses state that it is better to inspire young adults to leave their families. In terms of individuality and independence, they will understand better in the open world. As the time teaches to everyone every the aspects of life, they will be more matured to understand the new challenges that could occur in future. There are several reasons that families encourage a child to leave them, such as; to study, work or live. These days parents want their children’s to be more self-esteem and face any problem that comes in their way, this comes when they have given enough independence. This is the ultra-prominent reason that many parents encourage children to leave their homes. In conclusion, this essay discussed why some advocate that children should stay with their parents including to teach morality and responsibilities, and why some state that, it’s better to encourage youngsters to leave their homes as fast as possible including experiencing the individuality and independence. In my opinion, I stand on the same side with the people who site that youngster to be motivated to leave their families.
In this modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations and responsibilities have become more rational
especially
with youngsters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals cite that to uplift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as early as possible, while others advocate that, they should stay with their care takers as long as they need. I opine that juveniles should
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their homes; this essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples of my standing.

On one hand, there is a faction who argues that a child should be in care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. One main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that put forward as a prime benefit for this argument is, that caregivers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the moral responsibilities in a way that they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
easily
. As they brought up with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, the communication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be utmost when compared to external world,
as a result
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
easily
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have cultural traditions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the ways and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
especially
in orthodox cases. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the moralities and culture if they stay with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as long as they need.

On the other hand
, masses state that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to inspire young adults to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. In terms of individuality and independence, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in the open world. As the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
to everyone every the aspects of life, they will be more matured to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the new challenges that could occur
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
encourage a child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
them, such as; to study, work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. These days
You should probably use "parent".
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
to be more self-esteem and face any problem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in their way, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
independence. This is the ultra-prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their homes.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
including to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
morality and responsibilities, and why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
state that, it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to encourage youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their homes as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible including experiencing the individuality and independence. In my opinion, I stand on the same side with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who site that youngster to
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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