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Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. v. 1
One of the biggest dangers the mankind is facing nowadays is the climate change. Rather than fighting the climate change problem, some people are of the opinion that we need to survive amidst this. I totally disagree with this notion as we have numerous ways such as creating greener spaces to tackle this problem. Why we need to struggle with the climate change when we can combat this issue with appropriate measures? Firstly, people need to be educated about the problem and ways to encounter it. For example, conducting awareness campaigns on the importance of creating greener spaces by planting trees and avoiding deforestation can effectively solve climate related issues. In addition, people should be encouraged to conserve energy and cut down on their consumption of fossil fuels. Limiting the use of private vehicles and taking public transport whenever possible is one of the many ways to reverse climate change caused by global warming. Though the outcome of these measures is not immediate, it will definitely be fruitful in the years to come. If we do not take necessary actions at the earliest, the next generation will not have a habitable place to live in. In other words, our children will suffer from the disastrous impacts of climate change. Because of global warming, most of the countries across the world are already experiencing problems such as drought, forest fires, flooding and rising sea levels. If we start to act now, we will certainly have a better to place to exist in the future. In summary, I disagree with the opinion that we need to cope with / accept climate change rather than preventing it. There is a possibility to reduce the effects of climate change if we take necessary steps such as enriching the environment by planting more trees and limiting our use of fossil fuels.
One of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
the mankind is facing nowadays is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Rather
than fighting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to survive amidst this. I
totally
disagree with this notion as we have numerous ways such as creating greener spaces to tackle this problem.

Why we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to struggle with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
when we can combat this issue with appropriate measures?
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be educated
about the problem and ways to encounter it.
For example
, conducting awareness campaigns on the importance of creating greener spaces by planting trees and avoiding deforestation can
effectively
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
related issues.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be encouraged
to conserve energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on their consumption of fossil fuels. Limiting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private vehicles and taking public transport whenever possible is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to reverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
caused by global warming.

Though the outcome of these measures is not immediate, it will definitely be fruitful in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. If we do not take necessary actions at the earliest, the
next
generation will not have a habitable place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
In other words
, our children will suffer from the disastrous impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of global warming, most of the countries across the world are already experiencing problems such as drought, forest fires, flooding and rising sea levels. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to act
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we will
certainly
have a better to place to exist in the future.

In summary, I disagree with the opinion that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to cope with / accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
rather
than preventing it. There is a possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
if we take necessary steps such as enriching the environment by planting more trees and limiting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it’s best to encourage children to leave family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at their family home for as long as they like. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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