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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life What are those problems Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns v.2

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life What are those problems Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns v. 2
After the industrial revolution, metropolises have risen, and they brought to people its problems such as high crime rates and pollution. In order to solve those problems some people suggest that government should support people to move to regional towns and I think this must be done in order to remain peaceful and healthy environment in a country. First of all, one of the biggest problem that people have to challenge in the big cities is high crime rates that are caused by huge population and unemployment. Metropolises are overload by people, so it became very hard to find a good job. Therefore, people think that instead of spending a lot of time with searching for a job it is better to steal valuable item from someone and sell it. Another problem that people have to face it in big cities is pollution. It is clear that more people bring more problem since we have cars, buildings and establishments that release toxic gas to the air and pollute waters whatever cleaning system we have does not matter to the problem because every step we take release poison to everywhere. When it comes to the solution, in my opinion, as many people suggest, government should support people to move to regional areas because it is obvious that too many people move to big cities in order to find a job or get a good education since lack of these needs. However, with a good plan conducted by a government, good education and new working areas can be provided with opening new schools and universities for further education and starting new business that can be beneficial for both state and people who are unemployed. When all things are considered, people are in big cities suffering from too many things such as high crime rates and pollution. In order to solve those problems government is expected to help people to go regional areas.
After the industrial revolution, metropolises have risen, and they brought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as high crime rates and pollution. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to solve those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional towns and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to remain peaceful and healthy environment in a country.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
challenge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is high crime rates that
are caused
by huge population and unemployment. Metropolises are overload by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
instead
of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with searching for a job it is better to steal valuable item from someone and sell it. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is pollution. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
since we have cars, buildings and establishments that release toxic gas to the air and pollute waters whatever cleaning system we have does not matter to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every step we take release poison
Did you mean "too"?
to
everywhere.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the solution, in my opinion, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is obvious that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to find a job or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education since lack of these needs.
However
, with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
plan conducted by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education and new working areas can
be provided
with opening new schools and universities for
further
education and starting new business that can be beneficial for both state and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are unemployed
.

When all things
are considered
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
suffering from too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as high crime rates and pollution. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to solve those
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go regional areas.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life What are those problems Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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