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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
A number of people hold the view that huge organisations and industries from cities ought to relocate to the countryside. In my opinion, the increased employment rates, and the development resulting from this movement are more significant than any disadvantage. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the merits of this migration are important. One positive aspect is the rise in the employment rate. To illustrate, most young adults are seen to migrate to urban areas in search of job opportunities, thus, the presence of these companies in the countryside will increase the number of available jobs while decreasing unemployment rates, and consequently, reducing migration. Another benefit to consider is the construction of infrastructures that lead to a huge development in these areas. Siting industries in these locations, for instance, requires electricity, good roads, adequate water supply, health services etc. These are usually made available during the construction and eventual functioning of these companies, consequently resulting in significant growth in these places. The presence of these facilities also opens up the location for more advancement. Admittedly, transfer of large companies and industries alike to rural areas may cause pollution. This may be in the form of water, land, and noise contamination. For example, most wastes generated by these organisations are emptied into water bodies resulting in their pollution. Additionally, enormous and noisy machines used in some of these places have been known to cause noise pollution. In conclusion, the advantage of rapid development and increased jobs available in the countryside as a result of relocation of large industries far outweighs any disadvantage. It is hoped that more industries will build branches in local regions to aid their growth
A number of
people
hold the view that huge
organisations
and
industries
from cities ought to relocate to the countryside. In my opinion, the increased employment rates, and the development resulting from this movement are more significant than any disadvantage.

Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the merits of this migration are
important
. One
positive
aspect is the rise in the employment rate. To illustrate, most young adults are
seen
to migrate to urban areas in search of job opportunities,
thus
, the presence of these
companies
in the countryside will increase the number of available jobs while decreasing unemployment rates, and
consequently
, reducing migration. Another benefit to consider is the construction of infrastructures that lead to a huge development in these areas. Siting
industries
in these locations,
for instance
, requires electricity,
good
roads, adequate water supply, health services etc. These are
usually
made available during the construction and eventual functioning of these
companies
,
consequently
resulting in significant growth in these places. The presence of these facilities
also
opens up the location for more advancement.

Admittedly
, transfer of large
companies
and
industries
alike to rural areas may cause pollution. This may be in the form of water, land, and noise contamination.
For example
, most wastes generated by these
organisations
are emptied
into water bodies resulting in their pollution.
Additionally
, enormous and noisy machines
used
in
some
of these places have
been known
to cause noise pollution.

In conclusion
, the advantage of rapid development and increased jobs available in the countryside
as a result
of relocation of large
industries
far outweighs any disadvantage. It
is hoped
that more
industries
will build branches in local regions to aid their
growth
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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