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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
Although people thought that it is advantageous for big companies and industries to shift to local areas outside the urban areas. In my opinion, I think that moving industries to regional areas bring more benefits compared to any disadvantages it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that companies and industries gain more benefits by shifting to regional areas. Firstly, the cost workers in local areas are low. This helps companies to earn more profit. Secondly, regional area has lots of water facilities and also space to throw waste. As a result, companies and industries no need to worry about the resources and makes their work faster and smoothly without any problems. In a recent survey conducted by the popular private organization about the industries and companies, some encouraging facts have been discovered. It is found that industries and companies located in regional areas gained more profits and reputation compare to others. Therefore, it is imperative that to keep more companies in regional areas to earn more benefits. Admittedly, there are some issues involved keeping companies and industries in regional areas. One problem is that companies have a lot of problems with transportation facilities which takes a lot of time to shift products to cities and also cost little money. Another negative aspect is the lack of electricity and this affects company's production because most of industries depend on it. For instance, if industries and companies have poor electricity, it brings less problems to the companies. In conclusion, companies and industries in regional areas earn more money and reputation and it clearly outweigh any disadvantages it might bring.
Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it is advantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to shift to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
outside the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
bring more benefits compared to any disadvantages it might bring.

Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
gain more benefits by shifting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Firstly
, the cost workers in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are low. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to earn more profit.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has lots of water facilities and
also
space to throw waste.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
no need to worry about the resources and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their work faster and
smoothly
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In a recent survey conducted by the popular private organization about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
encouraging facts have
been discovered
. It
is found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
located in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
gained more profits and reputation compare to others.
Therefore
, it is imperative that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to earn more benefits.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues involved keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with transportation facilities which takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to shift products to cities and
also
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect is the lack of electricity and this affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
depend on it.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have poor electricity, it brings
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun problems is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
earn more money and reputation and it
clearly
Did you mean "outweighs"?
outweigh
any disadvantages it might bring.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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