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Some people think that it would be beneficial for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages? v.1

Some people think that it would be beneficial for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
It is considered by some people that moving to urban areas can be a benefit for large companies and industries. In my opinion, I believe that it is more advantageous for industries and companies to move to remote places. Admittedly, it is more beneficial for big factories and companies to shift to urban centres because there is more land available for expansion of their plants. In other words, due to the expansion there can be more working area along with designated spaces, thus increasing the productivity to large production place. Furthermore, it would enhance the development of underdeveloped remote areas such as, by constructions of roads and eventually having shops and other necessary food stores for workers. It will add more jobs to local communities which indeed will prosper and increase the value of land and even lay a platform for other factories to establish. On the other hand, to move these industries and big companies to the suburbs will add to the extra expenses for transportation. As the commute towards the cities will be increased, the transportation charges to deliver their products to the towns will also go up. The industry would have to invest in its own transport such as buying trucks, Lorries to deliver their products to cities, which will mean putting in more money. In addition, to that the distance for the factory workers will also increase, so the company will have to either provide workers with transport facility, increase their wages or provide resettlement at the new place. This will lead to more investment in the urban areas than cities. In conclusion, the factories and the companies will have a lot more advantages to move to urban areas than drawbacks.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be a benefit for large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. In my opinion, I believe that it is more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to remote places.

Admittedly
, it is more beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to shift to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is more land available for expansion of their plants. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, due to the expansion there can be more working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
along with designated spaces,
thus
increasing the productivity to large production place.
Furthermore
, it would enhance the development of underdeveloped remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as, by constructions of roads and
eventually
having shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessary food stores for workers. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more jobs to local communities which
indeed
will prosper and increase the value of land and even lay a platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to establish.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to the suburbs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the extra expenses for transportation. As the commute towards the cities will
be increased
, the transportation charges to deliver their products to the towns will
also
go up. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transport such as buying trucks, Lorries to deliver their products to cities, which will mean putting in more money.
In addition
, to that the distance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
workers will
also
increase,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
either provide workers with transport facility, increase their wages or provide resettlement at the new place. This will lead to more investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
than cities.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will have a lot more advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
than drawbacks.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it would be beneficial for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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