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The raise of living standard benefits mostly cities, not the rural areas. What are the causes of this problem? What issues might such differences lead to? How can we prevent these issues? v.1

The raise of living standard benefits mostly cities, not the rural areas. What are the causes of this problem? What issues might such differences lead to? How can we prevent these issues? v. 1
It is considered that improving living standards bring benefits only to cities and not to rural areas. The causes of this issue appear to be focused on two factors and sum of solutions also appear to be possible. First of all, perhaps the main cause why citizens get the most benefits from enhancing the standard of living is the need of it. In other words, people living in cities have a different lifestyle from who live in a rural field, this the lifestyle requires live faster and not waste time. According to this a person who lives in cities needs a better condition of living means developed road infrastructure, housing, and communal services. Another factor which could be considered as a cause is a total of people living in cities. In other words, the more people live in one place the more improvements in living standards they need, as regard for cities in which number of people are higher than in rural areas. However, inequality in living standards might cause of imbalance in the economy of the region and also be triggered too many people living in a rural area to remove to the city, which might reflect overpopulated it. This a pattern appears to be global and can become the main issue for many countries. Turning to remedy to prevent such scenarios, it is a necessary government to take steps and subsidize not only cities to improve their social condition, but also rural areas to enhance their social environment in order to stimulate people to live there. Unfortunately, the current budget of many countries under pressure and they are not able to provide equal financial support to cities and rural area. To conclude, there are at least two factors, which help cities to get more benefits from the rising of living standards, are a number of people and they need it. The possible solution should be taken from governments and not concentrate just only in one area of a country.
It
is considered
that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
bring benefits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this issue appear to
be focused
on two factors and sum of solutions
also
appear to be possible.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, perhaps the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
why citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most benefits from enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of it.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyle from who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
field, this the lifestyle requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
faster and not waste time. According to this a person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a better condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
means developed road infrastructure, housing, and communal services. Another factor which could
be considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
is a total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In other words
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in one place the more improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, as regard for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in which number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are higher than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.

However
, inequality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of imbalance in the economy of the region and
also
be triggered
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to remove to the city, which might reflect overpopulated it. This a pattern appears to be global and can become the main issue for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Turning to remedy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such scenarios, it is a necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take steps and subsidize not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to enhance their social environment in order to stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there. Unfortunately, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
budget of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries under
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pressure and
they are not able to provide equal financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
area.

To conclude
, there are at least two factors, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits from the rising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
, are a number of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it. The possible solution should
be taken
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and not concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of a country.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The raise of living standard benefits mostly cities, not the rural areas. What are the causes of this problem? What issues might such differences lead to? How can we prevent these issues? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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