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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v.22

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 22
Throughout the history of time, conflicts often occur between different races and nations with the goal of expanding the power and territory of one's country. However, in the past century, after the end of the cold war, states around the globe have come to appreciate one another and put in more effort into starting and maintaining the relations between countries and its citizens through hosting joint international festivals such as the football World Cup. In this essay, the benefits and reasons why creating such events is crucial in maintaining good interactions between cultures will be addressed. Firstly, it is important to look at the opposite side of the spectrum. Albeit many people believe in the statement above, certain demographic societies have opposed to the idea, implying that international occasions, where different nations come together to compete in sport competitions, brings more harm than good. This opposition is due to the fact that by racing against one another, different nationalities, who part take in the witness of the sport race, will certainly spark arguments and try to put down others in an effort to raise the value of their own homeland which can result in physical and verbal fights, increasing hate against each other as well as possibly start a hate relationship between nations. For instance, according to a survey conducted with the participants of the 1998 Olympic games in the US, 60% of the people, who was interviewed, responded a rise in the feeling of despise towards other races when they won in certain sport categories such as swimming and running. Therefore, it is by this reason, some individuals do not view cross nations sporting events to be a helpful remedy in creating good friendship between different states. On the other hand, from the perspective of another group of people, it is undeniable that there should be activities that engage a variety of nationalities and countries in a fun and healthy ways to demolish the tension and allow people to express their nationalism in a right way. Indeed, when people spend time cheering for their local sport representatives, they can channel all of their love for their own home countries without negatively putting others down. Moreover, by being an audience in an international sport competition, the chances of recognizing the value of others can also be improved. For example, based a recent survey carried out on the fans of the football World Cup from 2005 to 2020, 89% of the target group have expressed their open-mindedness towards champions from other lands, accepted and celebrated their victory. As a result, humankind becomes closer to one another with the help of these sports games, hence, strengthening the understanding between different parties around the globe. Without such events, nations would have been continually at war with each other. In conclusion, this essay addressed the importance and positive outcomes from hosting international competitions as well as acknowledged some disagreements to the topic. From a personal perspective, it is a must for all nations to create a certain get together to promote cross cultural awareness, develop mutual understanding and respect and give the opportunities for their members of societies to let out their patriotic emotions.
Throughout the history of time, conflicts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occur between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
races and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with the goal of expanding the power and territory of one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, in the past century, after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
cold war
, states around the globe have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to appreciate one another and put in more effort into starting and maintaining the relations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and its citizens through hosting joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
festivals such as the football World Cup. In this essay, the benefits and reasons why creating such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is crucial in maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interactions between cultures will
be addressed
.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to look at the opposite side of the spectrum. Albeit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in the statement above, certain demographic societies have opposed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, implying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
occasions, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to compete in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions, brings more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. This opposition is due to the fact that by racing against one another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nationalities, who part take in the witness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
race, will
certainly
spark arguments and try to put down others in an effort to raise the value of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homeland which can result in physical and verbal fights, increasing hate against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as well
as
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a hate relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
, according to a survey conducted with the participants of the 1998
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
in the US, 60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
was interviewed
, responded a rise in the feeling of despise towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
races when they won in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
categories such as swimming and running.
Therefore
, it is by this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals do not view cross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to be a helpful remedy in creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friendship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
states.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, from the perspective of another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is undeniable that there should be activities that engage a variety of nationalities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in a fun and healthy ways to demolish the tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their nationalism
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
.
Indeed
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend time cheering for their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
representatives, they can channel all of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
without
negatively
putting others down.
Moreover
, by being an audience in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competition, the chances of recognizing the value of others can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
For example
, based a recent survey carried out on the fans of the football World Cup from 2005 to 2020, 89% of the target group have expressed their open-mindedness towards champions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
lands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and celebrated their victory.
As a result
, humankind becomes closer to one another with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
games,
hence
, strengthening the understanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parties around the globe. Without such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
would have been
continually
at war with each other.

In conclusion
, this essay addressed the importance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes from hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
competitions
as well
as acknowledged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements to the topic. From a personal perspective, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to create a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together to promote cross cultural awareness, develop mutual understanding and respect and give the opportunities for their members of societies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
out their patriotic emotions.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
530 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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