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Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. v. 6
As we all know, our environment is mostly comprised of land, water and air. There is an ongoing debate regarding, who should take care of the surroundings. Some believe it should be the government, while others argue that it is everyone's responsibility. I tend to agree with the former statement, that it has to be the government, who should take care of the environment by implementing strict laws. First and foremost, authorities should implement bylaws and anyone who pollutes the surroundings should be fined in heavy. This has been a bigger issue in developing nations as citizens feel privileged by breaking the law. As per the research by the University of Michigan, Tourists from India, behave in a lot more civilised way when travelling to western countries. In contrast to travelling in their own country. It is because, outside of India, they are scared of laws and fines imposed on them, which are more than 10 times what they pay back in their home country. On the other hand, no country can achieve greatness without the support of their citizens. Nowadays, People around the world are motivated to keep their surroundings clean. Also, Economies of many countries are tourist dependent, so it is a must for them. For example, Sri Lanka, an Island in the Indian Ocean is considered the cleanest among all the South Asian countries. As they are aware, cleanliness attracts tourists. As a result, many countries followed the same path and numerous movements are started on a bigger scale in keeping the surroundings healthy. In conclusion, despite awareness of keeping habitat clean, mischievous people do pollute it in one way or another. Therefore, in my opinion, it should be the government, who should take care of the environment by implementing high fines and keeping laws strict.
As we all know, our environment is
Did you mean "mostly composed of"?
mostly comprised of
land, water and air. There is an ongoing debate regarding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, while others argue that it is everyone's responsibility. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former statement, that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should take care of the environment by implementing strict laws.

First
and foremost, authorities should implement bylaws and anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pollutes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
should
be fined
in heavy. This has been a bigger issue in developing nations as citizens feel privileged by breaking the law. As per the research by the University of Michigan, Tourists from India, behave in a lot more
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
way when travelling to western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In contrast
to travelling in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, outside of India, they
are scared
of laws and fines imposed on them, which are more than 10 times what they pay back in their home country.

On the other hand
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can achieve greatness without the support of their citizens. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around the world
are motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
clean.
Also
, Economies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are tourist dependent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for them.
For example
, Sri Lanka, an Island in the Indian Ocean
is considered
the cleanest among all the South Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. As they are aware, cleanliness attracts tourists.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
followed the same path and numerous movements are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
on a bigger scale in keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
healthy.

In conclusion
, despite awareness of keeping habitat clean, mischievous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do pollute it in one way or another.
Therefore
, in my opinion, it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should take care of the environment by implementing high fines and keeping laws strict.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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