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Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solution can you suggest? v.3

Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solution can you suggest? v. 3
It is true that the consumption of alcohol affects the decision making power of the brain. Pertaining to the number of crimes committed under the influence of booze, leads many people to think that a ban on it will improve the social situation. I do not agree with this view. To start with, liquor ban might reduce the crime rate for some time because the bad actions performed under its influence will decrease, but I believe this is not an effective solution. If a person is addicted, then he/she will try to get it at any cost without any consideration of the ban. For example, selling and purchase of drugs are banned is most of the countries, but people do have access to them because they are sold illegally. Instead of a decrease in crime rate, it might result in an increase because of trafficking and illegal selling and purchase. To control the crime rate, efforts are needed from the government and parents. Firstly, parents need to ensure that they guide their children through the harms of booze on the health and the society. Additionally, they should teach their children, when they reach adulthood, about the importance of having hard drinks responsibly, if they want to drink. From the government institutions, more and more awareness should be created about the ill-effects of liquor. The administration should establish rehabilitation and support centres. This step will help the people who want to quit drinking. Such centres provide support to an individual. For instance, in such centres he/she can meet other similar people and they can inspire each other for quitting. To conclude, the excessive consumption of alcohol makes people forget the difference between the right and wrong, which indeed increases lawlessness. However, I think that banning alcohol is not an effective solution, on the other hand, several other measures such as spreading awareness about its ill-effects among the present and future generation could be proven to be more impactful.
It is true that the consumption of alcohol affects the
decision making
power of the brain. Pertaining to the number of
crimes
committed under the influence of booze, leads
many
people
to
think
that a ban on it will
improve
the social situation. I do not
agree
with this view.

To
start
with, liquor ban might
reduce
the
crime
rate for
some
time
because
the
bad
actions performed under its influence will decrease,
but
I believe this is not an effective solution. If a person
is addicted
, then he/she will try to
get
it at any cost without any consideration of the ban.
For example
, selling and
purchase
of drugs
are banned
is most of the countries,
but
people
do have access to them
because
they
are sold
illegally
.
Instead
of a decrease in
crime
rate, it might result in an increase
because
of trafficking and illegal selling and
purchase
.

To control the
crime
rate, efforts
are needed
from the
government
and parents.
Firstly
, parents need to ensure that they guide their children through the harms of booze on the health and the society.
Additionally
, they should teach their children, when they reach adulthood, about the importance of having
hard
drinks
responsibly
, if they want to drink. From the
government
institutions, more and more awareness should
be created
about the ill-effects of liquor. The administration should establish rehabilitation and support
centres
. This step will
help
the
people
who want to quit drinking. Such
centres
provide support to an individual.
For instance
, in such
centres
he/she can
meet
other
similar
people and
they can inspire each
other
for quitting.

To conclude
, the excessive consumption of alcohol
makes
people
forget the difference between the right and
wrong
, which
indeed
increases lawlessness.
However
, I
think
that banning alcohol is not an effective solution, on the
other
hand, several
other
measures such as spreading awareness about its ill-effects among the present and future generation could
be proven
to be more impactful.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solution can you suggest? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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